America’s Birthday

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America turns 237 this year.  It’s a milestone.  It has been proposed that we celebrate in Santa Barbara county at the beautiful Zaca Mesa winery.  July 4th is on a Thursday this year so we wanted to meet on July 5th for a night or two of camping on the winery property.

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Naturally, our master Sommelier Dane Campbell would be our guide and host.  He’s graciously offered to reserve the onsite campground for us.  I believe there’s plenty of room, so wives, girlfriends, and amigos are all welcome. 

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I wanted to make a post on my hairline blog to gauge interest.  Would any ministers (or Rebbis) be interested in joining for weekend of patriotism and brotherhood to celebrate the day Ronald Regan vanquished the communists on Raptorback!

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Or was it celebrating the day William Jefferson and Ronald McDonald saved New York from aliens?  Clinton

I can’t remember exactly, but regardless we should all celebrate America’s birthday together.  That is reason enough.

[Title Needed]

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Bring me to…the 5th Anniversary

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Saturday, November 21st, 2009
IHOP
Goleta, CA
Author: Minister of History
Attending Ministers/Rabbi (17):
Minister of Media and Technology, Minister of Letters, Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Rousing, Minister of Member of the Month, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Revelry and Spirits, Minister of Philanthropy/Parliamentary Procedures, Minister of Auditory Pleasures, Minister of Athletics, Minister of Photography, Minister of Maritime Affairs, Minister of Competition, Minister of History, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of International Affairs
Absent Ministers/Rabbi (3):
Minister of Finance
Rabbi of Leisure
Minister of Health
Attending Guest Members (3):
Ben
Kevin
Sean
[First Round of Beers]
Ministers introduced themselves to guest members explaining their title and the duties that go along with their position.
Minister of Parliamentary Procedures touched on his ‘recession proof’ micro loans and alluded to saving Christmas some years back.
Minister of Auditory Pleasures was cheered for passing the bar and becoming IFS’s first lawyer.
Minister of International Affairs began his explanation of international duties in his usual high spirits with, “a lot of people have been trying to bring to me down…”
Newest Member, Minister of Lexicon (Chuck) thanked everyone for accepting him into IFS. He explained his position of Minister of Lexicon as the guy who remembers the funny phrases and sayings that are repeated over and over at one meeting but sometimes lost over time. The Minister of Lexicon asserted that he will remember and have a command of ‘the shtick, ya know the shit chicks hate,” and received a round of applause and many welcomes.
[Anthem – Minister of Letters (wearing athletic shorts) jumped ahead in the song, but everybody kept it together until Diego brought it home with another strong finish]
[Second Round of Beers]
Food Ordering:
Notable Orders –
Minister of Art and Design: Chicken Florentine Crepes, Appetizer Sampler, Short stack, and Mac’n Cheese
Guest Member Sean: 2 Breakfast Samplers, 5 sides of bacon
[Smoke Break]
Fantasy Football talk from the smoke break led into discussion of the afternoon football match. Team Captains and Brothers in Design (art and interior) squared off in a short stack eating competition. Minister of A/D’s bare hand approach dismantled Minister of Interior’s more methodical fork/knife method. For his Joey Chestnut-esque efforts, Minister of A/D got first pick for the Flapjack Bowl and would later pick Minister of Parliamentary Procedures.
[Beers brought in continually]
Minister of Wardrobe’s girlfriend fund for transporting the trophy to the Goleta IHOP was passed around. Full off of his victory, Minister of A/D generously contributed one dollar.
Meeting Called to Order
Minister of Parliamentary Procedures called the meeting to order. He introduced the first discussion item, the IFS Fund. Many Ministers contributed points for and against including Minister of Revelry and Spirits and Minister of Competition.
After much deliberation, Minister of Revelry and Spirits moved to set up an IFS FUND for future events and societal expenses using a group PayPal account with an optional $10 contribution a month. Minister of Rousing seconded the motion. The motion was brought to a vote and was passed unanimously with Minister of R&S electing to head up this project.
Minister of Revelry and Spirits moved to change his title to Minister of Business Management. The motion was seconded by Minister of Competition who also jokingly suggested an alternative title, the Real Minister of Finance. The motion was passed unanimously without an individual yes/no vote.
Minister of Philanthropy moved to change quorum from 2/3’s to 50% plus one. With full attendance, this would mean 11 of 20 votes would be necessary to pass a motion. Motion was seconded by Minister of M+T and passed unanimously without an individual yes/no vote.
Minister of Rousing introduced a discussion item: for future meetings, to have Ministers add their discussion items to the official agenda a couple days prior to the meeting. This would still allow for topics to be brought up at the table as well. Ministers nodded in agreement but no vote was taken.
New Business:
Minister of Rousing passed around an handout for a meeting idea for early 2010: the Phoenix Open. Minister of Rousing described the golf tournament as a three day party that would be all encompassing: food, entertainment, beer (Coors light unfortunately), and women all at one location. Minister of Business Management confirmed the potential for all Ministers to make party at the Phoenix Open as the indecipherable pictures on the hand out could not do it justice. Other ministers, including Minister of Interior Design, reminisced about the Phoenix Ramada Inn conveniently located in the same parking lot as a waffle house and a gentleman’s club – “bring me to the…best western.” The item was well received and tabled for further discussion.
Minister of Wardrobe introduced new 5th anniversary apparel – white T-shirts with gold, italicized lettering on the front and back – absolute playah design. He also mentioned his upcoming Christmas Party at his apartment in Hollywood featuring Huckleberry.
Minister of Photography suggested he change his name to something more wine related now that Minister of Business Management had changed his name from Revelry and Spirits. Despite his celebrated career in the field of photography, the former Minister of Photography is now the Minister of Wine.
Awards:
Monthly Awards:
Minister of MOM introduced the ballots explaining you can vote for “who’s super cool and who’s not” for Member of the Month and for the Continental Breakfast award. Or, as Auditory Pleasures suggested, “you can just check C.B. for C.B.”
Author’s Note: Many rounds of Budweisers made the tallying of votes a nearly insurmountable task. Many thanks to Minister of Maritime Affairs for his contributions in record keeping (and v-necks).
After many heartfelt laughs from reading aloud each ballot, the Minister of Wardrobe took home the Member of the Month award and Minister of Letters was deemed Continental Breakfast winner with 6 votes, narrowly edging out Minister of Art and Design.
In celebration, Minister of Wardrobe held the trophy proudly above his head, and pointing to the sky, he exclaimed many “Thank Yous!” and “Yes’s!” He would later claim, for the second year in a row, that “this year, I’m going to make a serious run at Member of the Year.”
Minister of Letters shook his head as he received the CB award, and explained how he had woken up with such high hopes for the day. He would later redeem himself as the MVP of the flapjack bowl.
Member of the Year Award:
Newly renamed Minister of Business Management won the Member of the Year award for his strength and organizational efforts since returning from Germany. After a mighty cheer that undoubtedly echoed through the main dining area and many, enthusiastic fist pumps, Minister of Business Management composed himself. With great humility, he simply stated, “I’m just proud to be part of this organization.” Acknowledging the group’s past and present strength, he continued, “We’re just going to get stronger and stronger.”
Minister of Member of the Month delicately added: “his strength is great, not so much in angularity, but in volume displacement.”
Lifetime Achinment Award:
Former Members of the Year – Minister of Letters and Minister of Rousing surprised the group with a special treat – a Lifetime Achinment award for the one member ineligible for the Member of the Year award because of his unique role in deciding the M.O.Y. award. Upon accepting the medal, Minister of Member of the Month explained the chinscription written on the back of medal, “you don’t see it, but there’s a lot of adversity I overcome behind the scenes.”
[2nd anthem heartily sang without incident]
[96 beers totaled]
Annivesary Surprise:
As the bill was being totalled, Minister of Art and Design stunned the group with a surprise phone call from the inspiration behind IFS – David “Champ” Koechner. As everyone huddled around and listened on speaker phone, Champ threw out a couple of “Whammy’s” and a “We Do It Every Month” much to the delight of everybody.
It was a fitting end to a strong 5th annivesary meeting.
Addendum
Notable Quotes:
“do I get a discount because you have a chest tattoo”
“that bitch was fat, thanks for the lap dances”
“you know that show on abc, Flash Forward…in my version of the show, I flash forward to myself being acquitted of statutory rape charges thanks to Minister of A.P.”

IFS: WWF: Wrestlemania…and Beyond

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Halloween is approaching and it is shaping up to be our strongest one yet. You all remember how fun our last group Halloween costume event was…this one will be even better, or should I say, HYOUUUGER.
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Who: The International Flapjack Society, friends of IFS, and assorted gunt
What: IFS: WWF: Wrestlemania Costume Party…and Competition; best costume gets a HYOUUUGCHE Belt and pride and glory.
When: Halloween, Saturday, October 31st, nighttime
Where: Newport/Costa Mesa border, at the house of two IFS allies – Nephi and Sam (absolute praaahans), address soon to come – the house is perfect with a HYOUUUGCHE backyard.
Why: Because we can.
Participation in this event is already going strong. To keep those who don’t respond to IFS emails because they are the opposite of strong, here is a list of ‘who’s who’ for our upcoming WWF costume jam:
The Minister of R&S: The Ultimate Warrior
The Minister of Letters: Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase
The Minister of M&T: Rowdy Roddy Piper
The Minister of MOM: The Rock
The Minister of History: Razor Ramon
The Minister of Rousing: John Cena
The Minister of ID: Ric “Nature Boy” Flair
The Minister of Comp: **Hulk Hogan**
The Minister of AP: Pending
The Minister of AD: Pending…The Undertaker?
The Minister of Health: Pending…Mankind? Sgt. Slaughter?
The Minister of Wardrobe: A wrestler…and not fucking Teen Wolf
Guest Member – Chuck: Andre the Giant
Guest Member – Ed: Irwin R. Schyster, I.R.S.
Guest Member – Sam: Jake the Snake
Guest Member – Nephi: One of the Island Boyz (tentative)
Guest Member – Mikey: Pending
Ok, that’s what I have so far. If I made a mistake or missed someone, then please amend this post with a comment.
Next Steps:
1) Comment on this post or respond to the massive email chain with who you are going to be.
2) **Invite girls to the event** – this is key, because a group of guys dressed up as wrestlers and getting drunk together **without **a bunch of gunt around would be about as gay as a Teen Wolf costume. Girls and friends of IFS don’t have to follow the Wrestlemania theme, though it is encouraged. If any of your girlfriends want to dress up as characters from Teen Wolf, that’s ok.
3) Be ready to respond to a Paypal email that R&S will be sending out shortly – each Minister will be donating $20 to our Wrestlemania cause. This will cover booze and decorations (see step 4). The Paypal account will also ensure that someone (R&S) doesn’t get fucked over with the bill.
4) We need decoration ideas – banners, posters, strobe lights…anything that will reinforce the WWF theme. Interior Design, this is your department, any ideas?
Ok, let’s remember, the more the merrier, so let’s brung heat.
That brings us to our next item, that is also fucking YOUUUUGCHE…
**IFS: The Quinquennium Anniversary**
5 Years. 19 Members. Dozens of M.O.M.s, dozens of C.B.s and handful of M.O.Y.s. Hershey, The River, Spring Training, Lake Tahoe. And now, back to where it all began.
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This November, IFS turns 5. I’ve spoken with Letters about this, and we’re of the opinion that for such a grand occasion, less might be more.
For now, we’re thinking we start off with our typical Friday night invasion of State Street. Saturday morning, we feast. After breakfast we head over to the Hillside House with Letters, where he says that our presence (for an hour or two) will be greatly appreciated.
Next, we head back to the Mesa house where we setup for a late afternoon BBQ that slowly bleeds into a massive house party, to be accompanied by a surprise band…
Nice and simple. One thing that we need to discuss is a date. We can do this the weekend before Thanksgiving (Friday the 20th – Sunday the 22nd) or the weekend directly after Thanksgiving (Friday the 27th – Sunday the 29th).
Comment on this post with questions or suggestions. Let’s make this first Quinquennium a strong one.
– Rousing

I.F.S. Memories – 2nd Anniversary

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We are so close to 4 I can taste it, but being the luddite that I am, I don’t know how to properly taste it, and so I have enlisted Steven Seagal to teach us all. This brings back so many memories of being 2 years old, all I can think about is IFS and how glorious this meeting will be. Any set plans for the weekend? I don’t even care, as I’m sure it will be good no matter what.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The State of the Many Roles of Kurt Russell Address

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Russell

In just two days, we will be uniting to form the MANY ROLES OF KURT RUSSELL.  For those of you who missed the first post, we will be uniting to form the MANY ROLES OF KURT RUSSELL at Amanda’s house in Los Feliz this Saturday night.  Here’s her address:

3424 Lambeth Street
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Here’s a "Breakdown" of who’s coming and which Kurt Russell they will be portraying:

– Minister of Media and Technology will be Jack Burton from "Big Trouble in Little China." 
– Minister of MOM will be Snake Plissken from "Escape from L.A."
– Minister of Competition will be solar explorer, Col. Jonathan ‘Jack’ O’Neil from "Stargate."
– Minister of Rousing will be Dean Proffitt from "Overboard."
– Minister of Interior Design will be Coach Herb Brooks from "Miracle."
– Minister of Letters will be Michael Zane from "3,000 Miles to Graceland."
– Minister of Defense will be McCabe from "Vanilla Sky."
– Future Minister and IFS blood relative Ryan Maughan will be Stephen ‘Bull’ McCaffrey from "Backdraft."
– Longtime Friend of IFS and forever welcome Guest Member Ben Persons will be Captain Ron from "Captain Ron."

That’s nine Kurt Russells by my count, just shy of double digit Kurt Russells.  Now, I know that Health/Trade will be attending the party – so if he dresses up as a Kurt Russell, then we’ll have ten Kurt Russells total.  Also, Philanthropy is attempting to shift his work schedule around so he can make it as well.  International Affairs, Maritime, Athletics and Shwayne, we haven’t heard anything from you four so please comment on this post with your status.  Younger/Taller/Athleticer and Letters will be coming down from SB, and Media will be coming up from the OC, so finding a ride should not be a problem.  Also, here’s some last minute costume suggestions that should be easy to throw together:

– As Jeff Taylor in "Breakdown," Kurt wears a Ralph Lauren polo tucked in to khakis, and cool sunglasses:
Breakdown

– Kurt wears a tux in "Executive Decision" and a black suit in Poseidon (granted, you’d have to jump in a shower for this one).
– Wyatt Earp – we still  need one.  Calls for a taller man with a strong mustache and a cowboy outfit, so I’m thinking Esteban.  Whoever takes this role, the all black getup would be the right way to do it.
– "Dark Blue" would be easy.  Black collared shirt, leather jacket, light blue jeans and black sneakers:
Darkblue

Anyways, just some ideas.  Like Competition commented earlier, this seems destined as Kurt Russell made a strong appearance on South Park last night.  I hope everyone can make it.  The more Russells the better. 

– Rousing

Wow Dad, We Do It Big!

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So this was initially going to be a marathon info update, but as I was perusing through some new photos I dug a little deeper and found some jems that represent some major events that have occurred up until the upcoming 500th post (crossing my fingers). When I look at some of the photos that have been taken, it wets my appetite for the next party, the next meeting, the next trip, the next visit, the next buffet after a party, the first wedding…holy shit, the first wedding.

But first, a little marathon info update:

Most importantly, the date of the marathon is April 29th, from Big Sur to Carmel, 26.2 miles. If you are planning on attending, which I know some of you are, give me a call so that we can talk about the housing situation. About my training: after drinking myself into the flu and tearing a silver dollar sized blister on one foot and a quarter sized blister on the other during the Super Bowl weekend, training was postponed for a week. But I am proud to mention that since then, training has commenced, and is going strong, real strong. My weekdays consist of going to work around 8:30, running an average of 8-10 miles during lunch, back to work till around 6, then to the gym for weights and more cardio on the bike or elliptical. On the weekends I tend to drink too much to run the next day. On Tuesday I ran the farthest I have ever run, 16.7 miles at an average 8:30 minute mile pace. Although I did not adequately prepare for running this great of a distance (it was kind of a spur of moment thing for that days run, thus I did not load up on carbs or liquids the day before or even that morning) I rose above the cramps due to the 80 degree heat and poor preparation, and the muscle and joint aches to finish at a good average mile time, knowing that with better preparation I can shave some time. I leave this update feeling very confident in the way my training is going.

Before the photo collage, Old Kings Road tomorrow night with Jordan if any of you are up for it (note: no harsh words in this post, just a simple invitation, didn’t want to hurt any of our sensitive members).

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2007 San Francisco Chinese New Year Parade I attended, where were you Curtis? I thought I saw you a couple of times but it wasn’t you. All the same. These guys in the yellow body suits where my favorite.

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Curtis and I with seasonal facial hair at Forbe’s Island and Pier 39 during Christmas. Amanda was present, but I felt more like Curtis’ date except for when they started hooking up while I was in the bed. Amanda insisted I sleep on the bed and not on the floor.

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Thanksgiving 2006 at the Mesa House, my stuffed 24 lb. beauties. Josh would have been proud. Just like the pilgrims.

IFS Grapes of Wrath. Just the beginning. They didn’t know what they were getting.

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Through Curtis’ and my eyes.



Nova and I at the Chargers game. Sorry about your face Rams. Thanks Morgan.Cimg0640_1

Halloween 2006.  

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Cimg0638_1 Allergies and the resulting patch test.

IFS the Exodus.

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Finance and I’s stunning win at the inaugural S.L.O.W. boccee ball tournament, with thanks to Simone in the first game.

2006 Solstice Day Parade. This man is getting married in a couple months?

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Me at the grassy knoll. X marks the spot…oh god I’m going to hell.

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IFS Vegas. Cimg0254_1 Chuy (damn picture won’t load but try this link Download CIMG0272.JPG).

Halloween 2005. The greatest Halloween ever.

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Two times. Minister of Athletics, I had to remind you all why.

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The Wino Anthem

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The audio doesn’t match up, but the pride is ever ringing…note the sweet high five between Bunchy and Nova

New Years Resolutions for I.F.S.

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Flapjack_contest

What is New Years without some resolutions?  But self-improvement resolutions are a sham, as most people break their resolutions due to a lack of will-power.  I know this self-effacing feeling all too well, so this year I will be making resolutions I can keep.  Here are the ones I am mulling over before the holiday deadline:

  1. Drink more beer –  All too often I fall-in to calls for Jager shots / bombs and mixed drinks.  While I’ll continue to drink these concoctions, beer will be my first choice at all times, which brings me two number two…
  2. Drink better beer – I’ve already begun this one, but I still order too many low brow beers than is necessary at bars, Adolphus or better, except no substitutes.  If someone orders me a lesser beer I will promptly hand it off to the next sap sitting next to me.
  3. Eat more flapjacks – This goes without saying, every member should consume at least a short stack a week.
  4. Make my own flapjacks – This will save me money on #3, and make me a shoe-in for 1st place in the "Annual I.F.S. Flapjack Cook-Off", watch out Rabbi, Panamanian crepes don’t count.
  5. Spend more time at my local IHOP – Nothing shows greater character than knowing the help at your local eateries, well there are probably other things, but I want to know the local San Clemente IHOP staff on a first name basis.  This is going to take some work.  Maybe just hang out on a Saturday, and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner there.  Tip well.

Flapjack