Putting the ‘i’ in Marriage….jam



Congratulations to the IFS Brazilian ‘international’ brother duo, who both got engaged to their beautiful fiances this past week.  Join me in congratulating the two newest Ministers of Matrimony.  Sounds like we’ve got a couple ‘cool parties’ to plan.

America’s Birthday


America turns 237 this year.  It’s a milestone.  It has been proposed that we celebrate in Santa Barbara county at the beautiful Zaca Mesa winery.  July 4th is on a Thursday this year so we wanted to meet on July 5th for a night or two of camping on the winery property.


Naturally, our master Sommelier Dane Campbell would be our guide and host.  He’s graciously offered to reserve the onsite campground for us.  I believe there’s plenty of room, so wives, girlfriends, and amigos are all welcome. 


I wanted to make a post on my hairline blog to gauge interest.  Would any ministers (or Rebbis) be interested in joining for weekend of patriotism and brotherhood to celebrate the day Ronald Regan vanquished the communists on Raptorback!


Or was it celebrating the day William Jefferson and Ronald McDonald saved New York from aliens?  Clinton

I can’t remember exactly, but regardless we should all celebrate America’s birthday together.  That is reason enough.

Rincon Classic Expression Session: Tasty City



Dre, laying down the shred last weekend at the Rincon Classic.  Scratching!!



Jurgen Klinsmann, lead us to the promised land…


Everyone knows, no sport is more American than soccer. Having said that, I’m so glad we just hired a new coach, the legendary German, Jurgen Klinsman! Jurgen, World Cup champion, coach, and journeyman baker, has been residing in California for a long time and has been pursued by US Soccer for years. Very recently he was hired as the new Head Coach. Using his signature Blitzkrieg attack, Heir Klinsman secured a tie against the ‘Sleepy Senors from the South’, which is like a win for Americans. Based on my analysis, I’m pretty sure this means Americans are going to be good at soccer now.

“Holy Hairline Batman!”

I propose we go support our country against the highly politically-charged friendly against Costa Rica on September 2nd, at the Home Depot center. The world will be watching!!

Remember watching UCSB lose to Indiana in the NCAA finals? It’ll be the opposite of that.

The Game is September 2nd, 2011. Game Time is 8:00pm (Pacific Time). We can hang out and party in LA after the game! Perhaps a long overdue pancake breakfast Saturday morning? The “I love America subcommittee”. If you have any interest in coming to the game, let me know and I’ll buy tickets. We can tailgate in the Home Depot Center, and all go watch the game as brothers, together.

William Jefferson Clinton wants you to go! Viva America!!!

Strong Venetian Hairline.


Hyyyuge Traps.

Clam Jam


For anyone in the Santa Barbara area this evening, I will be meeting with the Minister of Auditory Pleasures for a nice seafood dinner, after which I will never call him again. We were talking about the Shellfish Company, but are open to suggestions. Please join us.

REAL Strength

Comments Off on REAL Strength

In light of recent events I felt compelled to share something which I kept seeing a few months back, and I think is appropriate.

I generally try and get a surf in before work (when I’m not too lazy) in the South Bay, Los Angeles.   Over the past few months before I’d paddle out, I would often notice something sticking up in the sand, right near the water.  I would see it almost every time I surfed, and at first didn’t even know what it was.  Upon a close inspection I saw it was a single crutch, stuck straight up in the sand, always in a different spot, but almost always present on a particular stretch of beach.  Once I figured out what it was, I started looking for it.  The crutch was a permanent fixture on the beach. I became intrigued with the owner of this crutch. A buddy of mine told me he surfed almost every morning and would get as close to the water as possible, bury the end of the crutch in the sand, and paddle out.  Truly inspirational. Here’s a video of him doing just that. Im curious to see him surf.


Although I have not actually met this man, nor even see him surf (Cool story Hansel, I know) the knowledge that he’s out there almost everyday makes me very hopeful for Andre. It also inspires me to be less lazy, lumpy and grumpy. I think the next time I see the lone crutch I must wait next to it, until the owner comes back to shake his hand and get his full story. Apparently he’s something of a legend at this beach, I’ll post something if I ever meet the man himself. I’m sure he’s…. how do you say? Strong.

The following video is also a good reminder of what we are helping raise money for, in terms of a functioning prosthesis. This company in Ventura makes custom solutions for different activities, and I think getting Andre a brand new ‘surf leg‘ is a great cause. I’ll be up in Santa Barbara this weekend, along with a decent crew of people to support Andre, and hopefully make some headway on our fund-raising plans. See y’all at OKR. -MOM

The Superbowliest Party


As we all know the Superbowl is upon us and the Arizona Chirp Chirps will be facing off against the Benrapelesberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh wait, spacing…this year it’s the Packers who will most likely lose to Polamalu’s hair and give the Steelers their 3rd Superbowl win in 6 years. Needless to say this year has no Manning, or major underdogs to pull for, it should be a good game, but I’m struggling to care…

But what I do care about is the Flapjacks, Puppy Bowl, BBQ, Adolphus, Backyard Games, Me, Gambling and Brotherhood. For the past 6 Superbowls IFS has had a meeting followed by a Super Bowl party, 4 years straight in SB, and last year in LA. The Sunday is brutal after a weekend of boozing and few actually drink enough to be called drunk, but jokes about the commercials and puppies pooping makes it all worthwhile, even when you get hammered and have to cram into the back of a Rabbi’s red truck with a mustachio hipster so you don’t have to take the train the next morning.

The point I’m trying to make is: I know the OC seems like a far drive, and that driving may make it so you can’t get drunk like a monk, or even watch the whole game, but in the long run the game is not what matters, but how much Nova wins by betting that Christina Aguliera’s national anthem song time will go over 1 min. 50 sec.

I encourage all IFS ministers to dig deep and come down for the first IFS OC Superbowl party. Notice is short and Glory may make sad drewings all day as a result, but come on down to Costa Mesa and party at the President house.

This message was paid for and endorsed by Coach.

Some guys snort for it, others jab a vein, all you gotta do is jump…


So yeah…I realize this isn’t going to be for everyone, but Old Glory Persons, myself and the Schnitzel are in. Naturally, I don’t think this is the type of thing which peer pressure should be applied, since some might consider it “risky behavior”, however I think it will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and all the better when enjoyed together.

The plan is to Skydive, as brothers, together, at 1pm Sunday, November 7th. The company is ‘Skydive Santa Barbara‘ and they are based out of the Lompoc airport. My thought is to try and make the 1pm time slot, so we have some time to “digest” the night before and eat a good breakfast in the morning. You aren’t supposed to drink for 8 hours before the jump. Apparently the tandem jump (which is mandatory, unless you’re an expert) can be done in a few hours depending on weather. They said to allocate at least 4 hours, but it will likely take less time. Also, if you are a ‘portly’ gentleman, like Old Glory, it will cost an extra dollar per pound over 200lbs, with a maximum of 230lbs. I guess the extra cost goes to more parachute. For those without a weight problem, the cost will be a cool $199.

To reserve your spot on the jump, you can call 1.877.652.JUMP(5867) and pay a $50 non-refundable deposit. Ask for the 1pm jump, with ‘Geoffrey’s’ group (make sure to mention the group, so we all get a discount). So far I have 3 spots reserved for the aforementioned brothers (Diego, Ben and myself), however (as of today) there are 7 more available slots. I imagine that the spots will fill up, since 1pm Sunday will probably be a popular time. So if you are thinking about it, do it, join us!! Get dere!

Anniversary Jam



We need to plan the Anniversary Meeting. Please comment with ideas for the meeting. Many of us will be in Santa Barbara for Photo’s wedding on the 6th, which may be a good opportunity to stop in for some flapjacks the morning after the wedding. Perhaps a little Sunday brunch at Turnpike?

We could also pick a completely different weekend, since Photo will certainly be tied up getting hitched, which will limit his ability to participate. I don’t know…. on one hand it seems like kind of a good time to do it, since we’ll all be there anyway, and it’ll be a weekend of celebration. On the other hand we don’t want the meeting to distract from the wedding or vise versa.

We’ll also need a local minister, (AP, Letters?) to help coordinate the meeting/make the reservation. Photo, what are your thoughts?

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