The hairline brush


Me so sorry for taking a break from my hairrine brog.  Here’s a practical design.

This brush was designed  to shine your bald spot with a felt pad and brush your remaining hair at the same time.  Too bad they don’t make em anymore.  



Titanic Hairline



Magic Legs

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Thanks to everyone for following my blog. Hope you enjoy this video. It’s a shout out for the Minister of Handicapped Awesomeness.

Look for the Ducati at 4:20ish, brahs. Dre needs some fairings. Scratchin!

Its Science


This past July I made my way down to Barro Colorado Island, Panama to do my research on Tropical Rain forests using “Lasers”.  Competition made his way down and helped me with a little field work and managed to sneak in a dance with a German graduate student.  We ahre laughfing!

I meant to make this post right after my trip but I got a little sidetracked and forgot.  But here’s a little photo essay of my ‘International’ experience in the rain forest.

P1050729.JPG  Barro Colorado Island is in the Panama Canal Zone


P1050091.JPGMOM tracks the elusive Tree-Finance

P1050098.JPGAnteater climbing a tree and big ugly tropical spider

The native tropical vegetation was pretty impressive
P1050266.JPGThe tree at right is the “Walking Palm” which can sense canopy gaps where extra light is coming through
and it will literally “walk” across the forest floor by

putting down its butressed roots in one direction and pull them up on the back end. Science!

P1050629.JPGThe financier of my journey, Dr. Tom Gillespie. (left) The Professor, Competition and myself managed to rack up a $60 bar tab (which is impressive at 75cents a beer) and then accidentally leave on the last day without paying, whoops!

Bananas with mini-snickers bars baked in->

P1050628.JPGThe tropical biologists were a slightly rowdier group than I expected, on the last night they threw a party to celebrate Comp leaving the island even though he’d only been there one day.  Assholes.

P1050649.JPG“I went to Germany once. Do you know Timo? See, i used to live in SPAIN!” ->
After having a good number of libations, jumping in the
P1050634.JPGcrocodile infested lagoon with minimal clothing seemed like the best plan.

P1050078.JPGTrick is to make sure there’s always someone further from the pier than
you.  (seriously, two biologist swimmers have been attacked here over the years.)
<- nearby

P1050449.JPGAnd the Money Shot….

I may have looked a little dumb taking a picture of my empty plate in the field station’s cafeteria, but i look pretty smart now. 

Praise be to almighty Science and Gooooood Flapjack!

Oh my Science!


I’m off to the deep dark jungles of Panama tomorrow to study the physical structure of the tropical rainforest in the name of ‘Almighty Science’!  This means I will miss out on the July 4th festivities in I-town, but America needs me in the fight for knowledge.  Have a Bud in my name as I tromp through the steamy tropical forest in search of answers.
jungle_jim.jpgIf all goes well, this data will be used to quantitatively define the most productive, diverse forests on the planet using airborne and spaceborne lasers. GLOBAL WARMING, CORPORATIONS……
Competition will be joining me after a week in order to put the ‘I’ in IFS.  If I’m not attacked by any jungle creatures, I’ll post pictures of my adventures, wish me luck.

Speak now or forever hold your peace


Dearest Ministers,

I regret to inform you all that yesterday afternoon I discovered a large crack and subsequent leak in the habitat of Louie and Nacho Frank.  After a long clean up and discussion, it has been decided to let the beloved IFS turtles run free.  Currently they reside in an ice chest in the Franklin house living room.

200707echoparkoverheadThe plan is to take our beloved pets to Echo Park Lake tonight and set them free to live the rest of their days in a veritable paradise.  For those worried about setting pets into a semi-natural environment, and ruining a natural setting, don’t worry.  As you can see in the attached photo Echo Park lake is enclosed by city streets and greater Los Angeles.  The turtles aren’t going anywhere.  In addition to their new larger, more exciting retirement home the turtles will be getting much more UV radiation which they desperately need, and cannot receive in our sheltered apartment.  We have witnessed a number of larger healthy Red-Eared Slider turtles in and around the lake, which indicates the lake can either nurture the turtles to grow to a large size or at least sustain their normal size.
Although we are sad to see our reptilian friends go, we know this is probably the best thing for them.  The residents of the Franklin residence are also growing a little tired of the time and financial burden the little crap-factories have placed on their owners, however we wanted to give anyone the opportunity to adopt Louie and Nacho Frank.  We have everything they need except a tank.  If anyone wants to come forward and adopt the little guys "speak now or forever hold your peace".
If not, we will be making a ceremonial journey to Echo Park tonight to set them free in their own urban lake paradise.  Afterwards we will be eating some Tacos from a trailer in their memory just down the road in Echo Park.  If anyone is interested in adopting or joining in the goodbye let me know before Thursday night.

I love you all. 

Working hard


Qaqc_cock_and_ballsTechnical Details:

Part of my job as the Director of Quality Control is to process GPS points collected in the field to check the Aerial Laser Survey data.  The Field Operations Specialist (Defense) mounts a survey grade GPS antenna on a vehicle, measures the antenna height and drives around the project area.  The resulting data is processed to a very high degree of accuracy (2-4cm) and compared with the Laser points collected in the aircraft to make sure they are accurate.  When the accuracy of the points is good, these charts show them in green.

Just imagine my satisfaction when i checked these GPS points and found they were all of very high quality and in the shape of a cock and balls.  I can just imagine the smile on Defense’s face as he charted his path through the central valley, thinking of me in the office, sitting in my cubicle, processing GPS points, taking screen shots and making IFS posts.  Meanwhile the heavy pelican case for the GPS equipment sits atop the shattered sacred documents. A giant green shlong and a job well done sir.  The client will be pleased.

RIP Arnold


Turtle_red_ear_slider_rainforest_bgAt 5:55pm today I discovered our beloved Arnold the Red-Eared Slider Turtle had expired.  He is survived by Louie and a few goldfish.  He died of natural causes and appeared peaceful, it was a good death.  Arnold will be remembered for his ability to eat multiple goldfish in one sitting, absorbing sun rays on Monkey Rock, and swimming incessantly into the tank glass.  Upon viewing this post, please take a moment from your busy day to remember Arnold and send a prayer his way in Turtle Heaven.  He willed sole possession of Monkey Rock to Louie.  Rest in Peace old boy.

A Russell for Every Season


Ministers, it’s time.  It’s time to transform an exciting idea into a harrowing reality.  On October 27th, we will unite to become the MANY ROLES OF KURT RUSSELL.  Most of you know about this concept, and hopefully you are excited to be a part of it.  For those of you who are out of the Russell-loop (Shwayne), here’s a few reasons why we will soon be uniting to become the MANY ROLES OF KURT RUSSELL:

1) Kurt is HANDSOME

2) Kurt is STRONG:

3) Kurt is NICE:

So, now that you know the WHO (KURT RUSSELL) and the WHY (ABOVE), here’s the WHEN, the WHAT/WHERE and the HOW:

WHEN: October 27, 2007.  The Saturday evening before Halloween.
WHAT/WHERE: Halloween Party at Amanda’s home in Los Feliz.  Call me for directions.
1) Choose one of Kurt Russell’s roles (some costume suggestions included as well): Stargate (buzz cut, army fatigues), Tombstone (strong mustache), Backdraft, Escape from New York (eye patch), Escape from LA (eye patch, surf board), Soldier, Captain Ron (hawaiin shirt, speedo), Breakdown, Poseidon (tuxedo, step in the shower), Big Trouble in Little China, 3,000 Miles to Graceland (Elvis costume and machine gun), Miracle, Death Proof, and many more – full listing and pictures here: 
2) This has to be an organized process, otherwise, we’d have 8 Captain Rons showing up to the party.  So, when you have selected your Kurt Russell role, please comment on this post with your name and your desired role.  This will be a first come, first serve basis; if someone has picked Captain Ron, then you CANNOT be Captain Ron.  Maybe you can be Stargate or Vanilla Sky instead.
3) Create your costume and wear it to the party.   All costumes will require strong hair (some of you have this, some of us will need wigs – modified mullet wigs should work).
4) Take pictures with the other Kurt Russells at the party.  These pictures will be very strong.

The more Kurt Russells, the better, so I hope that all of you can make it.  Please comment with your picks, and with any questions that you may have.  Hope to see you all there.

– Rousing

Einstein’s opinion


Einsteins_opinnion< Click

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