The NBA Hair-Offs (Part 1 of a 3-Post Cycle)

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A Chin-trospective

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Great to see everyone out in the desert this weekend. Enjoy the Minister of Auditory Pleasure’s video tribute to the Bachelor. See everyone in a few weeks for the final neutering.

Strong Venetian Hairline.


Hyyyuge Traps.

The Flapjack Fundraiser: Andre Barbieri


Dear Friends and Flapjacks,

At this point I think everyone has heard about Andre’s horrific snowboarding accident about a week and a half ago.  For those who haven’t, Andre was snowboarding at Mammoth and got into a very bad accident, breaking his femur.  He was airlifted to Reno for emergency treatment, his injury did serious damage to his femoral artery, and there was massive internal bleeding.  We were very close to losing a dear friend.  After a massive effort to stabilize Andre, the doctors were able to save Andre’s life, however his left leg had to be amputated above the knee.

(Andre after surgery)

While the loss of the left leg his very sad, we must remember how close we came to losing Andre altogether, and be thankful he lives to fight another day.  Everyone who knows Andre understands this will likely only be a bump in the road, and his optimism and love of life will carry him through this difficult time.  I envision Andre recovering, rehabbing and getting right back to his active lifestyle, surfing, hiking, etc.

While no one worries about Andre’s optimistic spirit or ability to overcome such a difficult challenge, there is a financial burden which he must endure.  Andre does not have health insurance, and the medical bills for such an operation are enormous.

The outpouring of support thus far has been amazing, and many people have offered their assistance in whichever ways they can.  It really has been an inspiration to see how much love we have for one another, and how willing everyone is to help out a brother in need.  To help Andre raise some money for his medical bills, MOH started a Paypal account, and anyone who has the means in encouraged to donate, every dollar helps.  The email address that donations should be sent to is:

The main ‘Flapjack Fundraiser’ event is something which is currently being planned for late April, early May in Santa Barbara, CA.  Such an event makes our normal flapjack meetings seem rather unimportant and trite, however this is one event which really matters, and should be attended by all.  Once details are finalized, they will be posted on this site.  Please stay tuned for the details.

“I believe in the brotherhood of all men, but I don’t believe in wasting brotherhood on anyone who doesn’t want to practice it with me. Brotherhood is a two-way street.”
– Malcolm X

(Thats right, Malcolm X. -Fricker)

(Andre’s first walk)

The Death of Dels Saloon: A Photo Essay


First and foremost, everyone please look at the post below to M&T’s latest version of the IFS game, ‘Flappy Does Adventures’. Its awesome. Be good ministers, comment on how awesome it is.
Yesterday was a sad day. Dels Saloon closed its doors for good. The landowners have opted not to renew the lease, not because the bar was losing money, but the owners of the building opted instead to open a swankier, more overpriced and likely douchier bar in its place. ([Story]( If they put in another Busby’s, I’ll likely fire bomb it.
A few ministers may remember the days of Franklin St. It was a quaint ‘little’ apartment in Santa Monica, where a numerous ministers and friends resided. It was a great house, until it was overrun with tropical parasites I brought back from the jungles of Panama on a research trip. Whoops. Many football games were watched, beers consumed, and meals enjoyed. One time, I even threw the Minister of Athletics in the shower with his clothes on, closed the shower door, and turned on the water. Pow!
The standard operating procedure after any Franklin St. gathering was the obligatory trip to Dels Saloon a few short blocks away. It was an easy jaunt down the street, especially with the help of a few ‘road sodas’. If you never made it to Franklin St. and consequently Dels, you missed out on a lot, and you probably suck at life.
Dels Saloon saw the likes of an epic Karaoke crooning battle between the Minister of Letters and our ‘close personal friend’. There were also less epic although equally amusing karaoke attempts from others, no shame at Dels. There were chance encounters with truckers, hipsters, blue collars, students, old fashioned drunks, and even the occasional random hook ups with strangers. There was the occasional daytime cocktail, which were far outweighed by far too many instances where we were the last ones being shooed out the door, with full beers in our pockets for the walk home. Through thick and thin, Dels was the place, our place.
A classic dive bar, Dels enjoyed a brief run of popularity with the younger folks after a brief cameo in a popular movie. Occasionally you’d even spot an attractive female there, **occasionally**. That was rarely the focus, and that’s what made it great. Dels Saloon was a great place to share a drink with friends. A true staple in the IFS diet from 2006-2008.
Last Night, there was a gentleman, a regular, who stood up on top of the bar and hushed the crowd to make a toast. He started slowly and worked up to a yell, “This bar is the greatest, goddammed, fucking place….in America!” Cheers erupted from the crowd. I laughed, but didn’t disagree. Last night I had trouble thinking of a better one, Turnpike IHOP, perhaps.
The following is a mini photo essay from the last night at our beloved Dels. Single Tear.
Dels Saloon. Rest in Peace.



Was cleaning out my computer, and stumbled across this gem. Figured I’d share.

The Bells!!

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Let me paint you a picture…
This past Saturday night the Ministers of Health, Letters, A&D and MOM were accompanied by two lovely young ladies to the [Third Annual Christmas Sweater Festival](, a Charity Benefit for Teen Impact, a program at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for teens and young adults with, or recovering from, cancer. Hosted at the [El Rey]( Theater in Los Angeles, CA.
The show was headlined by ‘The Deadly Syndrome’ a favorite local band of a few IFS members. The Drummer for ‘The Deadly Syndrome’, Jessie Hoy is a Gaucho alum and longtime friend. I don’t go to many shows, but will rarely miss the ‘Syndrome’ at the El Rey.
In an intermission period between bands, an ugly Christmas sweater competition was held. Various hipsters donned skinny jeans, tight sweaters, some carrying Christmas ornaments, some lit up by Christmas lights, some wearing full Christmas regalia, complete with red pants, sweater vests, and bow ties. There was even a bear who had a shirt on that read ‘Beary Christmas’. Strong showing. Then there was MOH, unshaven, non-skinny jeans, beer in hand (the only one on stage drinking), beer buzzed grin, and cloaked in the most glorious Christmas sweater Los Angeles has ever seen. While the sweater itself was lovely, complete with Christmas trees, Santa Claus embroidery, etc. The Coup de grâce were the buttons on the sweater, which were actually JINGLE BELLS. POW!!!
The judging went in two stages, the half-wits and the fashion challenged were unceremoniously herded off the stage to boos and angry fist pumps. Health easily made it to the final round of judging, where Mr. Hoy would present each competitor to the crowd and listen for applause. Then the highly accurate and highly scientific applause ‘o’ meter was used to precisely determine the strength of each Christmas Sweater, based on audience acceptance. Letters, A&D, MOM and two lovely ladies spearheaded the ‘Bells’ (As in ‘JINGLE BELLS’) cheering section. When the MC and Mr. Hoy came to Health and presented him to the crowd, and jingled his ‘Bells’ into the microphone, we erupted in applause, cheers, and drunken shouts of “THE BELLS! THE BELLS!!!!!”. The applause ‘o’ meter spiked and hipsters everywhere cowered behind their PBRs.
The running was tight between THE BELLS, the Bear, and some hipster with a crappy sweater decorated by 6 Christmas lights (whom ‘THE BELLS’ cheering section booed ruthlessly). After double checking the applause ‘o’ meter, and a seemingly endless deliberation, the judges emerged to announce ‘THE BELLS’ as the winner of the Ugly Christmas Sweater competition! Everyone was sobbing, hugging, kissing and popping bottles of the finest Champagne, we had done it!!! Victory!!!
Below is a picture of the champ and lovely lady #2, post victory.
The show was a raging success, and Health was a local celebrity for the remainder of the night. Before long ‘[The Deadly Syndrome](’ came on a rocked a strong set for all the Holiday revelers. Including the following song Eucalyptus:

I would highly suggest this band to friends, their first album ‘The Ortolan’ was great, and their new album will be out in March. Next time they play in LA, we’ll make a post about it, and while I cannot guarantee such a grand spectacle, I can promise a good rock show and fun times with friends. Good Flapjack.

Its Happening!



Surfing’s the source man… swear to God

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Today Ol Glory and myself will be traveling back to the Indonesian archipelago to fill up on our share of tasties. It’s been a long time and we’re hungry. In fact we’re so hungry we could eat the ass out of a dead rhino, Utah! Two!
Indonesia Food.JPG
This is stimulating, but we’re out of here.

The Mascot of Club Deportivo El Oro


This will mess your day up.

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