Gracias dioses de hockey

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El juego de poder fue devastador para los diablos. ¡Vivan los Reyes! ¡Viva Juanathan Rapido!



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The Colbert Report
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Bring back the Hook and Ladder!


Having a longstanding love affair with NFL Blitz on Nintendo 64 (in my formative years), I think I know a thing or two about football. Late hits, laterals, and excessive celebrations are integral parts of the game. What do you do on ‘4th and Long’? Punt. Right? Not according to coach Kevin Kelley, head football coach of Pulaski Academy in Little Rock, Ark.

This man doesn’t punt, only calls onside kicks, and has a penchant for the trick play. This school of 350 students is climbing the ranks of Arkansas football by not playing like little bitches, and instead confusing their opponents with ‘Blitz’ style tactics. While some might call such tactics lunacy, Coach Kelley is a man of science. According to this article the numbers support his tactics. Read the article and watch some of their highlights, it’ll change your whole perspective on shit. It probably helps that they have who appears to be Michael Vick’s long lost son as their quarterback, but they still play like absolute plaahhhs.

What do you think Coach Casanova? Could the Blue Raiders use a few more onside kicks? Kicking the ball deep is what Fowler would do, and you know how I feel about that, Fuck Fowler.

Jurgen Klinsmann, lead us to the promised land…


Everyone knows, no sport is more American than soccer. Having said that, I’m so glad we just hired a new coach, the legendary German, Jurgen Klinsman! Jurgen, World Cup champion, coach, and journeyman baker, has been residing in California for a long time and has been pursued by US Soccer for years. Very recently he was hired as the new Head Coach. Using his signature Blitzkrieg attack, Heir Klinsman secured a tie against the ‘Sleepy Senors from the South’, which is like a win for Americans. Based on my analysis, I’m pretty sure this means Americans are going to be good at soccer now.

“Holy Hairline Batman!”

I propose we go support our country against the highly politically-charged friendly against Costa Rica on September 2nd, at the Home Depot center. The world will be watching!!

Remember watching UCSB lose to Indiana in the NCAA finals? It’ll be the opposite of that.

The Game is September 2nd, 2011. Game Time is 8:00pm (Pacific Time). We can hang out and party in LA after the game! Perhaps a long overdue pancake breakfast Saturday morning? The “I love America subcommittee”. If you have any interest in coming to the game, let me know and I’ll buy tickets. We can tailgate in the Home Depot Center, and all go watch the game as brothers, together.

William Jefferson Clinton wants you to go! Viva America!!!

Strong Venetian Hairline.


Hyyyuge Traps.

The Flapjack Fundraiser: Andre Barbieri


Dear Friends and Flapjacks,

At this point I think everyone has heard about Andre’s horrific snowboarding accident about a week and a half ago.  For those who haven’t, Andre was snowboarding at Mammoth and got into a very bad accident, breaking his femur.  He was airlifted to Reno for emergency treatment, his injury did serious damage to his femoral artery, and there was massive internal bleeding.  We were very close to losing a dear friend.  After a massive effort to stabilize Andre, the doctors were able to save Andre’s life, however his left leg had to be amputated above the knee.

(Andre after surgery)

While the loss of the left leg his very sad, we must remember how close we came to losing Andre altogether, and be thankful he lives to fight another day.  Everyone who knows Andre understands this will likely only be a bump in the road, and his optimism and love of life will carry him through this difficult time.  I envision Andre recovering, rehabbing and getting right back to his active lifestyle, surfing, hiking, etc.

While no one worries about Andre’s optimistic spirit or ability to overcome such a difficult challenge, there is a financial burden which he must endure.  Andre does not have health insurance, and the medical bills for such an operation are enormous.

The outpouring of support thus far has been amazing, and many people have offered their assistance in whichever ways they can.  It really has been an inspiration to see how much love we have for one another, and how willing everyone is to help out a brother in need.  To help Andre raise some money for his medical bills, MOH started a Paypal account, and anyone who has the means in encouraged to donate, every dollar helps.  The email address that donations should be sent to is:

The main ‘Flapjack Fundraiser’ event is something which is currently being planned for late April, early May in Santa Barbara, CA.  Such an event makes our normal flapjack meetings seem rather unimportant and trite, however this is one event which really matters, and should be attended by all.  Once details are finalized, they will be posted on this site.  Please stay tuned for the details.

“I believe in the brotherhood of all men, but I don’t believe in wasting brotherhood on anyone who doesn’t want to practice it with me. Brotherhood is a two-way street.”
– Malcolm X

(Thats right, Malcolm X. -Fricker)

(Andre’s first walk)

Team Extreme


Some guys snort for it, others jab a vein, all you gotta do is jump…


So yeah…I realize this isn’t going to be for everyone, but Old Glory Persons, myself and the Schnitzel are in. Naturally, I don’t think this is the type of thing which peer pressure should be applied, since some might consider it “risky behavior”, however I think it will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and all the better when enjoyed together.

The plan is to Skydive, as brothers, together, at 1pm Sunday, November 7th. The company is ‘Skydive Santa Barbara‘ and they are based out of the Lompoc airport. My thought is to try and make the 1pm time slot, so we have some time to “digest” the night before and eat a good breakfast in the morning. You aren’t supposed to drink for 8 hours before the jump. Apparently the tandem jump (which is mandatory, unless you’re an expert) can be done in a few hours depending on weather. They said to allocate at least 4 hours, but it will likely take less time. Also, if you are a ‘portly’ gentleman, like Old Glory, it will cost an extra dollar per pound over 200lbs, with a maximum of 230lbs. I guess the extra cost goes to more parachute. For those without a weight problem, the cost will be a cool $199.

To reserve your spot on the jump, you can call 1.877.652.JUMP(5867) and pay a $50 non-refundable deposit. Ask for the 1pm jump, with ‘Geoffrey’s’ group (make sure to mention the group, so we all get a discount). So far I have 3 spots reserved for the aforementioned brothers (Diego, Ben and myself), however (as of today) there are 7 more available slots. I imagine that the spots will fill up, since 1pm Sunday will probably be a popular time. So if you are thinking about it, do it, join us!! Get dere!

Post Meeting Fun: Sea Spray Jam



The Minister of Revelry and Spirits and I were chatting about some post-meeting activities, and we pondered the normal wine-tasting, basketball type activities, and we thought it might be fun to hit the sea.

I looked into a private cruise from the Santa Barbara harbor, and it’s a minimum of 2 hours, for $1,500 (all-inclusive). Meaning if we got 20 people to go, it’d be about $75 a person. The nice thing is there’s a max capacity of 145 people for the boat, so that price could be drastically reduced if we wanted to add more guests.

The cruise would be on the Condor Express (picture below)

Naturally I think we should get the boat reserved earlier than later, if we want to do it. Please comment on whether you think it would be fun, if you don’t, or any thoughts at all.

If there’s enough interest, I can organize it. If not, we can chose another activity, or we can roam State Street like a pack of disorganized rabid wolves. The nice thing would be if we could get a minimum number of people to sign on, and then we could just invite people as they come, whether they’re other wedding guests, or friends, or pretty ladies from the bar (Mr. Plow?). Either way, I think we’ll have fun making party with our brothers. If you have interest, please express via comment.

Good Flapjack!!



Fellow Ministers,

The time has come, the Super Important, World Premiere of ‘Townies Don’t Surf’. We failed mightily in securing a good viewing venue. Apparently the best surf video to come out of Mar Vista in the last 9 months doesn’t seem to carry much weight around these parts. Apparently, all the theaters are busy showing “Real Movies”.

Not to worry though, this will actually make for a good old fashioned Hootenanny at our humble residence. We will be hosting a viewing party at Beethoven St. this coming Saturday from 6:00pm-10pm. Whiskar will be provided to all guests, in jars.

Anyone in attendance is encouraged to bring a jug of their favorite moonshine, a few cold ones, or if you run over some meat on your way here, we can throw it on the grill. We will be BBQing at around 6:00pm.

There will be two showings of the film.

First Screening 8:00pm
Second Screening 9:00pm
Bowling 10:00pm

This will be a townie themed hootenanny, so dress appropriately. If anyone has a friend or two, bring them, as long as they’re kin!

We have three lanes reserved at Mar Vista Lanes at 10:00pm for those interested in throwing stones.

If you’re having a little trouble getting excited about a surf movie, made by two guys who don’t surf that good, maybe a few tarp tasties will get you in the mood. Scratching!!!!

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