Gracias dioses de hockey

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El juego de poder fue devastador para los diablos. ¡Vivan los Reyes! ¡Viva Juanathan Rapido!


This really happened


After a long weekend in FresYES, I thought this would be a good opportunity to update my blog. Although a rush of last-minute resignations threatened to weaken the FresYES Super Bowl weekend, a band of hearty IFS ministers made the trek to the BIG Country. The Minister of ID opened up his well decorated home to us, and showed as a weekend for the books.

We bowled, we drank, we laughed, we cried, we ate lots of Mexican food. Although the Doritos Loco taco has been discontinued, we were treated to something far better…a Caruther’s original. Tito’s. The Al Pastor was amazing.



Take that TDKRtrailerfan!

An Important Lesson In Winning


Curtis, has this made its way to the Prussian Empire yet?

And then there’s this:

The Bells!!

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Let me paint you a picture…
This past Saturday night the Ministers of Health, Letters, A&D and MOM were accompanied by two lovely young ladies to the [Third Annual Christmas Sweater Festival](, a Charity Benefit for Teen Impact, a program at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for teens and young adults with, or recovering from, cancer. Hosted at the [El Rey]( Theater in Los Angeles, CA.
The show was headlined by ‘The Deadly Syndrome’ a favorite local band of a few IFS members. The Drummer for ‘The Deadly Syndrome’, Jessie Hoy is a Gaucho alum and longtime friend. I don’t go to many shows, but will rarely miss the ‘Syndrome’ at the El Rey.
In an intermission period between bands, an ugly Christmas sweater competition was held. Various hipsters donned skinny jeans, tight sweaters, some carrying Christmas ornaments, some lit up by Christmas lights, some wearing full Christmas regalia, complete with red pants, sweater vests, and bow ties. There was even a bear who had a shirt on that read ‘Beary Christmas’. Strong showing. Then there was MOH, unshaven, non-skinny jeans, beer in hand (the only one on stage drinking), beer buzzed grin, and cloaked in the most glorious Christmas sweater Los Angeles has ever seen. While the sweater itself was lovely, complete with Christmas trees, Santa Claus embroidery, etc. The Coup de grâce were the buttons on the sweater, which were actually JINGLE BELLS. POW!!!
The judging went in two stages, the half-wits and the fashion challenged were unceremoniously herded off the stage to boos and angry fist pumps. Health easily made it to the final round of judging, where Mr. Hoy would present each competitor to the crowd and listen for applause. Then the highly accurate and highly scientific applause ‘o’ meter was used to precisely determine the strength of each Christmas Sweater, based on audience acceptance. Letters, A&D, MOM and two lovely ladies spearheaded the ‘Bells’ (As in ‘JINGLE BELLS’) cheering section. When the MC and Mr. Hoy came to Health and presented him to the crowd, and jingled his ‘Bells’ into the microphone, we erupted in applause, cheers, and drunken shouts of “THE BELLS! THE BELLS!!!!!”. The applause ‘o’ meter spiked and hipsters everywhere cowered behind their PBRs.
The running was tight between THE BELLS, the Bear, and some hipster with a crappy sweater decorated by 6 Christmas lights (whom ‘THE BELLS’ cheering section booed ruthlessly). After double checking the applause ‘o’ meter, and a seemingly endless deliberation, the judges emerged to announce ‘THE BELLS’ as the winner of the Ugly Christmas Sweater competition! Everyone was sobbing, hugging, kissing and popping bottles of the finest Champagne, we had done it!!! Victory!!!
Below is a picture of the champ and lovely lady #2, post victory.
The show was a raging success, and Health was a local celebrity for the remainder of the night. Before long ‘[The Deadly Syndrome](’ came on a rocked a strong set for all the Holiday revelers. Including the following song Eucalyptus:

I would highly suggest this band to friends, their first album ‘The Ortolan’ was great, and their new album will be out in March. Next time they play in LA, we’ll make a post about it, and while I cannot guarantee such a grand spectacle, I can promise a good rock show and fun times with friends. Good Flapjack.

Durham Calling


Esteemed Ministers,

I am greatly saddened to have to miss both the Halloween Rumble and the upcoming 5 year reunion. My distance has proven to be a formidable obstacle to my active participation in IFS activities since school has begun. But I would like to take this seemingly lamentable situation and use it to the benefit of our entire organization. What I am suggesting will be demanding of you all, but the rewards will far out way the costs… I, the Rabbi of leisure, would like to invite you all to Durham, North Carolina, for the greatest New-Year’s celebration of the decade!!! IFS New-Year’s 2010 has the potential to blow your flap-staken’ minds and stir your syrup-pumpin hearts.

For those bold enough to make the journey, I guarantee:

• Life altering Barbecue (and many other varieties of food to clog the arteries but quicken the spirit)

➢ Diego- This means all you can eat, so get your shwammy-as-she-goes ass down here

• Beer that flows like wine (and for that matter, wine that flows like wine as well)

➢ If anyone can convince Jordan to come, the Mike’s Hards are on me all trip

•Scantily clad, sex-starved women, eager to experience the joy of uninhibited flap-jackery

➢ For Jimmy – Fish to have sex with

• Music so riveting as to inspire Bunch to dance, and make Nova want to sodomize Esteban

• A whirlwind tour of one of the south’s most vibrant cities (led by your own Rabbi of leisure)

• And most importantly a chance for our brotherhood to strengthen bonds friendship in yet another far-flung destination

Let me know how this sounds to all of you. If there is a will there is a pancake, so let’s do it!

Light and fluffily yours,

The Rabbi of Leisure



Coming Soon…


Townies Don’t Surf from benpersons on Vimeo.

That’ll Play!


To those minister and rabbi who were present, well done.  The 4th of July Tahoe weekend was a roaring success.  Although we did have some last minute cancellations and membership was a little skinnier than it should have been, these weekends ultimately make IFS stronger.  The commitment shown by Revelry and Spirits to organize and plan the weekend is much appreciated.  The cabin was great and the company was better.
ihop-free-pancake-day-2009.jpgSome serious business was discussed and it was agreed that the minimum voting requirement needs to be lowered so that decisions can actually be made at such a meeting when very strong active members are present, and weaker, less active members are chronically absent.  A simple majority was suggested as opposed to a 2/3 vote.  Our inability to follow our own rules and still make important decisions was a point of friction and needs to be addressed.  I encourage email communication on these matters to keep things private.

In other news, The Rabbi took home top honors and a brand new ‘Slap Chop’ for his outstanding “Taco Post”.  Well done Rebbi.

OqSM9.jpgAll in all, a wonderful weekend.  The strength of the members present made for great party.  I know I speak for the group when i say every side was sore at the end of it all.  Although many ministers were absent for this great weekend, the excuses need to be respected when appropriate.  Contracting swine flu and studying for the BAR exam are acceptable excuses.  If you are going to bail out on a meeting, there is a proper way to do it.

Exhibit A:

Good Luck on your test AP, make us proud Law Dog!

International Update: Minister of Finance


For those of you who may be unaware, our beloved Minister of Finance is living in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico playing professional soccer for one of the 4 teams in Guadalajara.  Its a great ceetey.  His absence has been sorely missed every time we attempt to divide the IHOP bill by the number of ministers at breakfast.  He has kept in touch and sent the pictures you see below.
IMGP0726.JPGThe official name of the club is ‘Club Deportivo El Oro’.  For those of you who don’t habla the espanol, ‘El Oro’ is Spanish for ‘The Oro’
Finance says, “Club Deportivo El Oro has two venues: ‘La Primavera’ and ‘El Estadio Jalisco’, the team is in the Mexican Second Division of Soccer, and I’m not sure about the mascot, but I would have to say it is GOLD.  Sometimes they call us ‘los mulos; which refers to the mules that were used to carry the gold from one place to another.”
IMGP0714.JPGBelow is the link to the club homepage, which is all in Spanish, so you’ll have to find a Spanish speaker to decipher it’s code.

You should write an email to say hello or actually go down to see a game, which I may actually do very soon.  If anyone is interested in sampling some authentic Mexican Meat Pancakes from Mexico in the near future, let me know.

In his free time he has been helping a mechanic bro who recently started a small
shindig of buying and selling used cars.  “We do all the mechanical,
body and paint work.  Here are a couple pics of him and I taking out
the fuel injectors while tuning up my malibu.”


Another one with his son
who is learning the ropes. 


“Also a picture of a dood i know who lived
some time in L.A.  His shirt says, ‘An akward morning beats a boring
night.’  i think the cold sore on his lip is a nice touch.”


Our beloved Financiero is living the dream, hopefully he’ll be someplace we can all watch him soon.  LA Galaxia friendly?

Calculate your own bill, Suckas!

El Oro.jpg

Amendment to the IFS cheers


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