The Better Boat Video

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Tidbits from KB.net

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Nick Kroll Standup on Jimmy Kimmel Live – watch more funny videos

I’m too lazy to post all the time, so here is a double post of things I found in the last week. I’m always posting things here.

Back off Warchild, Seriously.

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I.F.S. Memories – 2nd Anniversary

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We are so close to 4 I can taste it, but being the luddite that I am, I don’t know how to properly taste it, and so I have enlisted Steven Seagal to teach us all. This brings back so many memories of being 2 years old, all I can think about is IFS and how glorious this meeting will be. Any set plans for the weekend? I don’t even care, as I’m sure it will be good no matter what.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

IHOP Celebrity Sighting! – David Spade

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Thought this was [worth posting for the IHOP related heiny shot](http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/david-spade-girlfriend/). And no Wardrobe I’m not talking about Spade’s ass. Though those are some crazy jeans – the british flag on a pocket, CRAZY!!! Extra exclamation points = extra crazy

That’s all I ask for, just 90 seconds of your life Johnny, that’s it.

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For anyone who sucks, let me bring you up to speed.  There was a movie which was released in 1991 called ‘Point Break’.  This movie featured territorial surfers, FBI agents, bank robberies, shootouts, skydiving, naked females and meatball sandwiches, best i ever tasted.  This movie was shown to me by my late uncle and literally changed my life.  I literally frequent secret beaches with chemical signatures similar to the Ex President’s home break, I say ‘Brah’ far too often and have been robbing banks in the LA area for years to fuel my endless summer.

The movie ended with surfer/bank robber Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) paddling into massive death defying Bells Beach Australia.  The movie ends, suggesting Bodhi died in the massive waves.  Apparently he didn’t die, he paddled to Indo.

The Gods have smiled on MOM by giving the green light to ‘Point Break Indo’.  Internet sources are buzzing with speculation about the return of the original stars. Here is a brief synopsis I found online:

When Billy Dalton, military special ops and star surfer, is
disqualified from the pro-surfing tour, he takes off for the coast of
Bali looking for the perfect wave.  While there he’s recruited by a
private security force who are trying to find a gang known as The Bush
Administration, surfing outlaws and modern day pirates who work like
“The Ex-Presidents,” a bank robbing crew from Malibu twenty years ago.

pb4pres.jpg

The Bush Administration!! Holy shit, thats amazing.  Casting news has not been released, but it is rumored Reeves will not return, but as long as Bodhi lives I’m happy.

Jan de Bont will be directing and the production company believes that
they will be filming the “most extreme action stunts ever caught on
camera
.”
pointbreak.jpg 

If anyone has noticed all trash talking from my fantasy football team, ‘The Ex Presidents’ in will be carried out using lines from the original ‘Point Break’.  (That team name is picked prior to the news for the sequel.) I’ve actually handed over management duties of the EX Presidents to A&D so I could focus full time on ‘Point Break’ trash talking.

Needless to say I’ll be somewhere sweet in LA on opening night, drunk and in costume.  If they film in IMAX, I’m there.

‘The Dark Knight’ is to Letters
as
‘Point Break Indo’ is to MOM.

Filming may not have even started yet, so speculation about release dates may be a bit premature, but I think a surfer party is in order, maybe a little beach football, tequila shots, bonfire, stealth mission. Who knows?

“Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?”

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Zach Galifianakis + Absolut Ads = Confused, but Thirsty

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Monday Cartoon Mania

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The animator / director of this cartoon was a UCSB graduate. You can read more about Don Hertzfeldt here.

Bunker and Warchild would not be pleased…

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This post is directed at the Rabbi of Leisure and his ‘yes
man’….

 

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“Okay, so this is where you tell me all about how locals
rule and yuppie insects like me shouldn’t be surfing your break and all that,
right? No. That would be a waste of time. We’re just going to fuck you up….on
the blogosphere.”

 

True Story:

 On a sunny afternoon 4 guys (3 IFS members) struck out on a
surf mission to a local spot.  This spot
was actually featured quietly in the hit movie ‘Point Break’, including a famous
‘localism’ intimidation scene. 

Although this surf spot is no secret, it is a bit off the
beaten track and I won’t go into the etiquette and complexities of showing up
at an uncrowded, quality surf break with only a few people in the water, but in
short, you must be respectful and tread lightly. 

After the OC crew took a trip back to the car to fetch sun
screen to prevent dry skin and rashes, we hit the water.  OC team leader quickly surfs a set wave,
while OC towel boy cheers him on by hooting and hollering. “There’s not enough
wax on my board. This water is cold, I wish I had a better wetsuit, I usually
wear booties, my feet go numb easy.”
were a few choice expressions from the guy
you don’t want talking to you in the lineup.

After more than an hour surfing in excellent conditions, our
esteemed Rabbi of Leisure realizes he is late to take his 17 year old sister to
the Kanye West concert in San Diego
by 7pm.  A mid-lineup freak out ensues, “We’ve
got to go! MOM! Art and Design! towel boy! we have to go RIGHT NOW!  I’m so late, oh my god, oh my god!”
The Rabbi
exclaims.

I reluctantly paddle for a wave and ride it to the beach
where I proceeded to question the Rabbi about the seriousness of his public outburst.  (Direct Quote)  “My parents are going to be so pissed” he relayed with the utmost
urgency.  “Can’t you find someone else to
take your sister to the Kanye West concert? 
Why can’t she drive herself, she’s 17.”
 
I manage to say without laughing at the reason for our
immediate departure. 

At this point A&D and I were not prepared to leave a beautiful,
almost empty lineup for a seemingly ridiculous errand.  After serious negotiation and justification I
allow OC team towel boy to drive my car back to town so team OC can return home.  (I allow OC team towel boy to drive, since
the Rabbi can’t drive a car with a manual transmission.)  “We’ll either get ‘Competition’ to give us a
ride, or we’ll take the bus.”

Two OC ‘tenderfeet’ depart in a hurry, driving my car. “Utah! Get me Two!”

After a few more hours of empty, beautiful surfing
conditions A&D and I are exhausted and content with bellies full of tasty
waves.  30 miles from our house, “Gee I wish
we had a car.”

After a small walk to a bus stop, A&D and I bundle our
dripping wetsuits into hobo packs and wait patiently for the Express #3
bus.  “How did you get your boards here?”
the bus driver inquires.  “We drove a car
here, but then someone took our car back without us.”
We replied.  “Someone stole your car?!” he exclaimed.  Not exactly.

We were placed in the back of the bus where our boards would
fit in between the bench seat.  The
driver had to ask a couple of day laborers to move to accommodate our equipment.  The picture above was taken on the bus and
illustrates our frustration with our tenderfoot surf companions and also
captures the beauty of public, urban surf transport.  ‘Viva los Dodgers!’ A&D and I share a
laugh on the enjoyable and peculiar bus ride back to town.  Competition picks us up at the local bus
terminal and we return home.

Please understand, I post this story not as an example of
why I’m cooler or better than our companions. 
I post this story to highlight ridiculous behavior which fulfills the
stereotype of everything you try and avoid. 
When a 25 year old is begging his friend to help him, because of the
threat of parental repercussions and Kanye West concerts, you have to laugh at
yourself.  It’s important to listen to
yourself speak and make sure you sound sane. No harm intended, just a bit of
comedy.

“Back off Warchild, seriously.”

Name that Bar

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To anyone who has been to our local West LA watering hole you might recognize the bar in this AT&T commercial.  Of course the commercial is minus the normal seedy clientele and Peter Dante showing up Letters with Bob Marley karaoke renditions, but it’s Dels. 

Look for these commercials during the College Hoops games being played this weekend.  The advertisement’s claim is true however AT&T cell phones do get full reception even in the darkest, saddest corner of this sanctuary for damned souls.

 

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