The Superbowliest Party

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As we all know the Superbowl is upon us and the Arizona Chirp Chirps will be facing off against the Benrapelesberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh wait, spacing…this year it’s the Packers who will most likely lose to Polamalu’s hair and give the Steelers their 3rd Superbowl win in 6 years. Needless to say this year has no Manning, or major underdogs to pull for, it should be a good game, but I’m struggling to care…

But what I do care about is the Flapjacks, Puppy Bowl, BBQ, Adolphus, Backyard Games, Me, Gambling and Brotherhood. For the past 6 Superbowls IFS has had a meeting followed by a Super Bowl party, 4 years straight in SB, and last year in LA. The Sunday is brutal after a weekend of boozing and few actually drink enough to be called drunk, but jokes about the commercials and puppies pooping makes it all worthwhile, even when you get hammered and have to cram into the back of a Rabbi’s red truck with a mustachio hipster so you don’t have to take the train the next morning.


The point I’m trying to make is: I know the OC seems like a far drive, and that driving may make it so you can’t get drunk like a monk, or even watch the whole game, but in the long run the game is not what matters, but how much Nova wins by betting that Christina Aguliera’s national anthem song time will go over 1 min. 50 sec.

I encourage all IFS ministers to dig deep and come down for the first IFS OC Superbowl party. Notice is short and Glory may make sad drewings all day as a result, but come on down to Costa Mesa and party at the President house.





This message was paid for and endorsed by Coach.

Superbowl XLV: The Watching

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Will Big Ben corner the Packers in the bathroom of a dive bar, or will Green Bay’s defense turn the tables on him?  More importantly, who’s down to watch and where should we do it? Normally I would nominate the Beethoven house, but with the recent loss of chin-strength there, maybe we should broaden our horizons.  Hollywood?  SB?  OC?  Let’s get the discussion going ASAP.

Team Extreme

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6 Years Strong: The Ann Jam

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6th ANNIVERSARY MEETING

IHOP off Turnpike in Goleta, CA

November 6th, 2010

IN ATTENDANCE:

Minister of Media and Technology, Minister of Letters, Minister of Business Management, Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Member of the Month, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Philanthropy, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of Auditory Pleasures, Minister of Athletics, Minister of Art and Design, Minister of Health, Minister of History, Minister of International Affairs, and newly appointed Minister Edward (hereafter called Minister of Ed, short for Education or Edward, your pick).

[Heroic Anthem Singing]

[1ST Round]

OPENING COMMENTS:

Ministers went around the room touching on their roles and offering initial updates while saving business matters for later.  Minister of Interior Design pointed out the International Flags that accompanied the cups that he and MBM put together.  He was also sure to point out the party favors each member received in the cup, and pointing to one ‘safety measure’ in particular, said, ‘this one is for up in the ribs.’  MOM mentioned new ballots.  Lexicon promised quotes that would be presented later.  Minister of Athletics recalled his marathon from that morning.  Minister of International Affairs shared with everyone two things he liked that smell good, one of which was pancakes.  Minister of Ed. informed the group he likes spending his time doing Asian things like making SAT tests for mainly Asian kids.

[2nd Round]

NOTABLE ORDERS:

Minister of Wardrobe –  Rooty Tooty Fresh n’ Fruity

Minister of Philanthropy – “Although not ordering the chorizo goes against my heritage, I think I’m going to order the steak and eggs”

To which Minister of Interior Design replied,  “Ay Dios Mio”

Minister of Art and Design – Avocado, bacon, and cheese omelet with a short stack of pancakes with strawberries and whip cream and a side appetizer sample.

Minister of Ed. – Sirloin Tip and Eggs with a side of pancakes

Minister of Health – Chicken Fried Steak (the dinner portion)

Minister of International Affairs – Eggs Benedict with an extra egg, short stack of pancakes, side T-bone steak , side of red skinned potatoes

[Smoke Break]

[Technical Difficulties trying to connect with Minister of Rousing]

[Food Brought Out]

Minister of Auditory’s European crepes were slow to come out and Minister of Athletics was quick to suggest, ‘they had to find a Frenchman to make it.’

Shortly after, Minister of Athletics recounted some of the finer moments of his tremendous athletic performance earlier that morning.  He recalled that he started the marathon listening to the Arnold Mega Mix and was laughing hysterically to himself, prompting the ‘serious’ marathon runners around him to wonder “who is this drunk idiot laughing to himself?”

[Third Round]

BUSINESS:

M+T talked about how great the tradition is, asking himself, “how long have we been doing this? Six years.”  He mentioned the need to establish one byline that is both fitting and appropriate, and suggested voting that ‘we do it every month’ be officially replaced with ‘by the cake of pan.’

Minister of Letters showed off the IHOP gift certificates.  He then suggested, perhaps seriously,  “we should get IFS credit cards.”  About his recent efforts, Letters offered, “sorry if I haven’t contributed, but it’s my life, so fuck you.”

Minister of Business Management showed off the new mugs that he made happen.  He credited Minister of Interior Design for the idea.  MBM also brought up the idea of drawing names out of a hat to select people to plan the big meeting of the year, which would allow a diverse group to get involved in the planning process that might not regularly be part of it.  The vote on this official proposition was held until the close of BUSINESS.  [Historian’s note: he also ran a half-marathon that morning.]

Minister of Member of the Month discussed the MOY award, talked about how he consulted with last year’s winner, MBM, and at first questioned whether anyone had made a substantial effort to warrant receiving the award.  Then,  upon review of the events that had transpired over the weekend, MOM announced Minister of Athletics as the Member of the Year.  Much applause and congratulations followed.  Then Minister of Athletics stood up on tired legs and said, “I’m kind of a shell of a human being right.  But I did my business this morning.  Thank you very much.”  More well deserved applause.

Minister of Wardrobe followed saying it was, “good to see everyone for the Ann. Jam.”   He talked about shirts that he had sized people for and promised they would be delivered at the end of the month.  Minister of M+T interjected, “That sounds awesome!”

Minister of Philanthropy started by simply saying, “6 years…pretty badass.” He then touched on saving X-Mas many, many years ago.  There were shouts to the effect of, “still bringing that up?” to which Minister of Philanthropy responded that he wanted to get bracelets for everyone saying “never forget.”  He went on to update everyone on the state of microloans explaining Oscar Mayara Garcia finally paid IFS back.  And that a new mico-loan was under way for Felix in Peru.  Everyone was very pleased though suspect of the possible business ventures associated with Peru.

[Beers grabbed at an as needed basis from the beer cooler throughout this part of the meeting]

Minister of Lexicon said how great it was to be here.  He went on to give a hilarious account of everyone’s finest quotes.  This was met with much laughter and applause and proved to be a very tough act to follow.  He also mentioned he did not bring the Continental Breakfast award; it made it as far as the Motel 6 but no further.

Minister of Athletics touched on his marathon and quickly sat down having already recalled the morning marathon earlier in the meeting.

Minister of Auditory Pleasures talked about how he may lack in objective contributions, but that he recently relocated to the origin of IFS, Santa Barbara.  Everyone applauded greatly.

[Historian’s note: also recently bought a Benz…absolute playa]

Minister of MOM commented that Minister of Art and Design’s first job was at Chucky Cheeses and everyone laughed.  Then Minister of Art and Design…

[Historian’s Note: Budweiser seems to have stained both the Historian’s record and memory of Minister of Art and Design and Minister of Health’s comments which are  missing here.]

Minister of History acknowledged he totally spaced on the Member of the Month award and was disappointed he missed out on the wedding and on the marathon.  He talked about his recent trips, one to Montecito, another to  China, and passed around some authentic artifacts that double as cozies.

Minister of International Affairs talked about his long awaited Social Security to the delight and congratulations of everyone.  “For a long time I’ve waited for this…”

Minister of Ed was welcomed into the group with a hearty applause.  “It’s an honor to join this esteemed brotherhood.  This type of brotherhood and camaraderie is in large part dying elsewhere, so I’m glad to be part of this.”  More applause and appropriate ethnic comments.

Then a vote was held on Minister of Business Management’s ‘hat drawing’ motion.  The  motion passed unanimously.

Following this, the ballots were collected for the Member of the Month.  Minister of Member hilariously read out each ballots as if he had written them himself.  Member of the Month was awarded to Minister of Lexicon in large part because of his great presentation.  He narrowly beat out Minister of Athletics who ran a marathon and then drank a forty of bud ice.

The Continental Breakfast award voting came down to a tie between Minister of Lexicon for forgetting the MOM trophy at the motel 6 and Minister of History for spacing on the CB trophy, amongst other things.  It was decided the two would make arguments to defend why they shouldn’t be given the CB award.  After two sloppy speeches, the tie breaking vote cast by Minister of Letters went to the Minister of Lexicon to ensure both trophies would make it to the next meeting.

PLANNING:

Following the rules of the new motion, three names were drawn out of the hat to help plan the next big meeting.  Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Athletics, and Minister of Lexicon were all selected and expectations couldn’t be higher.

[Meeting Adjourned]

What A&D Sees

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Today is the day boys. Real football starts and all the fantasy dreams of glory become real dreams of monetary gain. After 18 weeks of furious clicking and refreshing, internal bargaining, and hours spent prone on a couch, only one will be crowned champion. Last year’s winner, Health / Trade, will be defending his golden flapjack tiara, as Big Bear Lexicon seeks revenge for his playoffs loss, and all others try to knock down the top dogs, or seek personal glory week to week. Today it begins…

UCSB in the Big Tourney

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I now know my first Final Four pick for this year’s tourney, UCSB beat the Long Beach 49ers to grab the single coveted Big West bid. Must have been a tough one for you Rousing, if you had time to watch.

It was a tough fought game. The refs let the teams play very loose, and even with a double digit lead in the middle of the 2nd half, UCSB let the 49ers back in the game, leaving a few missed shots in the last minute to decide the game.

If you look closely at the pics from the game you will see our own Ministers of Art + Design (with a weird last name on his jersey) and Competition (with a new hairdo) trying to shut down the Gauchos.

Coming Soon…

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Townies Don’t Surf from benpersons on Vimeo.

Its Happening!

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IFS: WWF: Wrestlemania…and Beyond

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Halloween is approaching and it is shaping up to be our strongest one yet. You all remember how fun our last group Halloween costume event was…this one will be even better, or should I say, HYOUUUGER.
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Who: The International Flapjack Society, friends of IFS, and assorted gunt
What: IFS: WWF: Wrestlemania Costume Party…and Competition; best costume gets a HYOUUUGCHE Belt and pride and glory.
When: Halloween, Saturday, October 31st, nighttime
Where: Newport/Costa Mesa border, at the house of two IFS allies – Nephi and Sam (absolute praaahans), address soon to come – the house is perfect with a HYOUUUGCHE backyard.
Why: Because we can.
Participation in this event is already going strong. To keep those who don’t respond to IFS emails because they are the opposite of strong, here is a list of ‘who’s who’ for our upcoming WWF costume jam:
The Minister of R&S: The Ultimate Warrior
The Minister of Letters: Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase
The Minister of M&T: Rowdy Roddy Piper
The Minister of MOM: The Rock
The Minister of History: Razor Ramon
The Minister of Rousing: John Cena
The Minister of ID: Ric “Nature Boy” Flair
The Minister of Comp: **Hulk Hogan**
The Minister of AP: Pending
The Minister of AD: Pending…The Undertaker?
The Minister of Health: Pending…Mankind? Sgt. Slaughter?
The Minister of Wardrobe: A wrestler…and not fucking Teen Wolf
Guest Member – Chuck: Andre the Giant
Guest Member – Ed: Irwin R. Schyster, I.R.S.
Guest Member – Sam: Jake the Snake
Guest Member – Nephi: One of the Island Boyz (tentative)
Guest Member – Mikey: Pending
Ok, that’s what I have so far. If I made a mistake or missed someone, then please amend this post with a comment.
Next Steps:
1) Comment on this post or respond to the massive email chain with who you are going to be.
2) **Invite girls to the event** – this is key, because a group of guys dressed up as wrestlers and getting drunk together **without **a bunch of gunt around would be about as gay as a Teen Wolf costume. Girls and friends of IFS don’t have to follow the Wrestlemania theme, though it is encouraged. If any of your girlfriends want to dress up as characters from Teen Wolf, that’s ok.
3) Be ready to respond to a Paypal email that R&S will be sending out shortly – each Minister will be donating $20 to our Wrestlemania cause. This will cover booze and decorations (see step 4). The Paypal account will also ensure that someone (R&S) doesn’t get fucked over with the bill.
4) We need decoration ideas – banners, posters, strobe lights…anything that will reinforce the WWF theme. Interior Design, this is your department, any ideas?
Ok, let’s remember, the more the merrier, so let’s brung heat.
That brings us to our next item, that is also fucking YOUUUUGCHE…
**IFS: The Quinquennium Anniversary**
5 Years. 19 Members. Dozens of M.O.M.s, dozens of C.B.s and handful of M.O.Y.s. Hershey, The River, Spring Training, Lake Tahoe. And now, back to where it all began.
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This November, IFS turns 5. I’ve spoken with Letters about this, and we’re of the opinion that for such a grand occasion, less might be more.
For now, we’re thinking we start off with our typical Friday night invasion of State Street. Saturday morning, we feast. After breakfast we head over to the Hillside House with Letters, where he says that our presence (for an hour or two) will be greatly appreciated.
Next, we head back to the Mesa house where we setup for a late afternoon BBQ that slowly bleeds into a massive house party, to be accompanied by a surprise band…
Nice and simple. One thing that we need to discuss is a date. We can do this the weekend before Thanksgiving (Friday the 20th – Sunday the 22nd) or the weekend directly after Thanksgiving (Friday the 27th – Sunday the 29th).
Comment on this post with questions or suggestions. Let’s make this first Quinquennium a strong one.
– Rousing

Surfing’s the source man… swear to God

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Today Ol Glory and myself will be traveling back to the Indonesian archipelago to fill up on our share of tasties. It’s been a long time and we’re hungry. In fact we’re so hungry we could eat the ass out of a dead rhino, Utah! Two!
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This is stimulating, but we’re out of here.

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