At Home with the LA Sparks!

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On February 11, 2017, after a 14 month hiatus, the ministers came Home for breakfast. Not the home of IFS, the IHOP off turnpike in Goleta, but rather, the restaurant “HOME,” a Silverlake gem and obvious Wardrobe favorite. In the dimly lit, poorly ventilated, private backroom at HOME, the ministers Marked the 12th Anniversary of the International Flapjack Society, two months into year 13. Sorry about it 2016.

Attendance: Minister of Competition, Minister of Health, Minister of History, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Finance, Minister of Media & Technology, Minister of Art & Design, Minister of Letters, Minister of Member of the Month, Minister of Auditory Pleasure, Minister of Education, Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Business Management, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of the American Dream. The Minister of Rousing appeared by video. Guest member Cody was also in attendance.

[1st Round of Beers]

The meeting started slow. Without the official rouser to wake them, some ministers slept in. While waiting for the meeting to start, the ministers present took to planning.  T-shirt sizes were estimated.  “Yeah, he’s probably a double XL.” Tables were arranged and rearranged.  “Shit, we’re going to have to make it an L shape.”  Breakfast orders were second guessed. “Do they have side orders? I think we’re just going to have to share plates.”  And dogblogs were compared. “She has 673 followers.”

Sherri, our devoted waitress at Home, nervously entered and exited the ministers’ private room, perhaps expecting to take orders for something other than budweisers and cocktails. For 75 minutes, she was left waiting.

At 11:15 am sharp, the Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Business Management, and Minister of Lexicon strolled in just in time for the Anthem. Water was ordered to the table by Minister of Business Management. Always be hydrating.


[Breakfast Orders]

Minister of Finance ordered the Steak & Eggs.  Steak medium. Eggs over easy. Sourdough toast. Potatoes. Strong value.

Minister of Interior Design ordered the Eggs Chorizo.

Minister of Wardrobe ordered the Chilaquiles and a side of Chocolate Chip Pancakes. Wow dad!

Minister of Lex ordered the French Toast. Thanks Fidel.

Minister of Art & Design ordered the Breakfast Burrito, add Avocado, extra bacon,

Minister of Competition ordered the Chilaquiles and Stack of Flapjacks. (And a Pimms)

Minister of Health ordered the Fried Chicken and Waffles, sub Pancakes. “Chicken and Pancakes, the next frontier”

Minister of the American Dream ordered the Carne Asaduhhh and Eggs.

Minister of Auditory Pleasure ordered the Breakfast Burrito with Crispy Bacon. Add Avocado. Home fries.

Minister of Business Management ordered the Chicken and Waffles and a Bloody Mary.

Minister of History ordered the Southern Fried Steak.

Minister of Education ordered the Southern Fried Steak, scrambled eggs, and Sourdough toast.

Minister of Letters ordered the Fried Chicken and Waffles, sub pancakes.

Minister of M&T ordered the California Eggwich with a side of Fruit.

Guest Member Cody ordered the Breakfast Quesadilla.

A side of Red Velvet Pancakes were ordered for the table by the People.

“Do you see this waffe right here? That’s CB material”

“Any trophy is better than no trophy.”

[Smoke Break]

[2nd Round of Beers]

[Official Business]

Minister of Media & Technology: “I don’t want to steal any credit, but I played a role in the $8 T-shirts that are coming out.” “Ed, it’s a complete surprise. You don’t call me.  I just see pictures of ducks in Lake Forest.”

Minister of Finance: “Traditionally, I calculate the bill and also, well, it’s been like 3 years, so I don’t really remember all of my duties.”

Minister of Letters: “It brings me such great joy to know that every single person in this room is going to come to Mexico for my wedding.”

“What about the wall dude? How do we deal with that.”

“How do I get back?”

“We’ll figure that out…Sunday.”

Minister of Education: “It is a singular honor to be back. I’ve been away in Asia for way too long. You guys are welcome to come to Orange County any time to feed the ducks.”

Minister of Interior Design: “I would not have picked this — place.” “It’s a good crew today.”

Minister of Wardrobe: “I picked this place. It’s a good place.”

Minister of Business Management: “I don’t actually know what my title is. It’s great to be home in California. Go dubbs.”

Minister of Auditory Pleasure: “As part of my duties, I picked out what country’s anthem we would steal to make our anthem. AzerbaiJAM.” MAP proceeded to bring a “serious piece of business,” to choose a set weekend every year away from the holiday season.  February and October were batted around. This proposal was later voted down.

Minister of Lexicon: “What’s up? I’m Chug! Sometimes, I get cut out of e-mail chains.” “Last year, this meeting didn’t seem like it was going to happen, so a toast to all you guys for getting it done.”  

Guest Member Cody: “Any time I hang out with you guys it makes me realize how lucky you guys are to have formed something like this that has lasted this long.”

From the table, “Can I get 18 bud lights please?”

Minister of Art & Design: “I like to insert subconscious IFS imagery into commercials. But they’re starting to catch on.” “I’ve also been known as the co-captain of team plan to get it done…but I have to step down, it’s too much pressure.”

Minister of Rousing: “I am the Minister of Rousing, the erstwhile Minister of Coordination and Rousing. And despite what Diego may have said this weekend, I put the “I” in IFS.” “Try to speak towards the camera when you give your speeches.”

Minister of Health: “I am the Minister of Health, as you can see.  I appreciate your love and support.”

Minister of History: “I am the Minister of History, also YT.” “Go to and you can read funny stuff Chuck said 18 months ago.”

Minister of Competition: “I’m the Minister of Competition. No real business except go Ducks and Go Dodgers. Also, I’m going to gauge interest in a Fantasy Baseball league.”

Minister of American Dream: “I know people think Curtis, who flew from one developed country to another, or Chinverse, who rode on a camel in Egypt for a week, put the “I” in IFS.  But actually I put the “I” in IFS.” “I did forget the Member of the Month under my bed.” “I’m going to build a beautiful wall on the outside of IHOP off turnpike and Baez is going to pay for it.”

Sherri: “We’re running out of Budweisers. We have also Stellas…”

Group: “No.”

Sherri: “Okay, I’ll find some more Budweisers.”

[3rd Round of Beers]

“If you haven’t cast your ballot yet, Fidel is always a good vote.”

Minister of Member of the Month read the ballots. He proposed that the Member of the Year should be a democratic process.  “Although I’m a benevolent dictator.  I am still a dictator.”  MOM then read Minister of Rousing’s counterpoint. “It’s special because it’s not a democratic decision and you always give a great speech-Jam.  Also, I fear change.”

[4th Round of Beers]

The vote were tallied and then tallied again.  In an unprecedented run away, Minister of Business Management received the most votes for the Continental Breakfast award for showing up late, ordering water, and prematurely exiting the weekend.

Ministers of Health and Wardrobe received equal votes for the Member of the Month Award for their strength.

Minister of Health and Minister of Wardrobe also received the Member of the Year award.

Minister of Member of the Month introduced the new member of the year trophy, Lord Flappy’s Cup, to be engraved with each Member of the Year’s name, like the Stanley Cup.  Minister of Health and Minister of Wardrobe then drank out of the MOY Cup, the first of many members to taste sweet Adolphus from Lord Flappy’s Cup.

[End of Meeting]

One Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Aaron Q
    Jan 31, 2018 @ 11:13:38

    Who are you people?