Christmas Came Early



Much like an original copy of the Declaration of Independence discovered behind a flea market oil painting, I found the minutes from last year’s anniversary meeting buried in a heap of well, non-pancake oriented notes. Some key details are missing and the author is clearly inebriated but it’s a verified original.  And I know, this has CB written all over it.

The 8th Anniversary

(12/15/12 in Goleta, CA)

In Attendance:

Minister of the American Dream, Minister of Art Design, El Padre Barbieri, Minister of Paralympics, Minister of Health, Minister of Athletics, Minister of Photography and Wine, Minister of Competition, Rabbi of Leisure, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of The Member of the Month, Minister of Business Management, Minister of Letters, Minister of Auditory Pleasure, Minister of Interior Design,  Minister of Rousing, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of History.

The 11:00 am meeting began at 11:30 on Saturday, December 15, 2012.  The Minister of Paralympics and his father arrived to a standing ovation.  After many hugs and handshakes, the Minister of Rousing broke the news that the Minister of Finance would not be in attendance.  Shortly thereafter, Alfonso of House Pancakes brought in the first round of Adolphus.  Alfonso received a standing ovation for his efforts.

The first round of beers underway, the Minister of the American Dream decided to join the party.  He was greeted with a standing ovation that transitioned into an a cappella rendition of the anthem.  The normal climactic finish was stifled by a sore throat jam.

Breakfast Orders:

Minister of Auditory Pleasure ordered the Denver Omelet, side of pancakes.

Minister of Business Management ordered the Split Decision.

Minister of Interior Design also ordered the Split Decision.

Minister of Letters ordered the Eggs Benedict, side of short stack.

Minister of Rousing ordered the Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs.

Minister of Wardrobe ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity.

Minister of MOM ordered the Huevos Rancheros.

Minister of Competition ordered the Pigs in a Blanket side of pancakes.

Minister of Athletics ordered a Country Fried Steak.

Minister of Health ordered the Belgian Waffles side of pancakes.

Minister of Photography and Wine ordered the Biscuits and Gravy and a side of German Pancakes.

Minister of the American Dream ordered the Eggs Benedict, two hash browns, side of pancakes, side of T-Bone steak

Minister of Lexicon ordered the French Toast.

The Rabbi of Culinary Affairs ordered the Country Omelet and a side short stack.

Said Rabbi: “The country omelet is my favorite omelet because they put hash browns in the omelet and on the side.  They really upped the ante.”

Minister of Health ordered the Belgian Waffles with a side of flapjacks and bacon.

Minister of Art Design ordered the Waffle Combo and a side of bacon and a sampler platter.

Minister of History ordered the Sirloin Tips and Eggs.

Padre Barbieri ordered Scrambled Eggs and Bacon.

Minister of Paralympics ordered the steak and eggs over hard.

[smoke break]

[second/third round of beers]

Official and Unofficial Business:

The Minister of Competition started things off light, saying, ‘My job is to go to meetings…and I don’t do that.”

Minister of Letters reported his goings on as co-founder of the hairline chapter.

The Minister of Interior Design reminded everyone of his title, Minister of Interior Design.  Mom questioned its continued relevance, “Still?”

The Minister of Lexicon had no business to share but his enthusiasm for being there and for the plentiful adolphus was apparent.  He received scattered boos nonetheless.

The Minister of Business Management followed, stating sincerely that “Last night at the Tavern was incredible” in reference to an impromptu, bar-stomping, all night party at the AT.

[AT pictures from the night before]

tavern 2

tavern 1

[I took 23 pictures of that night, and those were the best ones.]

The Minister of Rousing  commended the heightened international presence at the meeting with El Padre Barbieri in attendance.  “I don’t know if everyone knows this but he grew a moustache for this event.”  Later, Rousing spoke the word ‘erstwhile’ to the appall of MBM who exclaimed, “Erstwhile?”  Rousing responded “It’s an English word.”

The Minister of Wardrobe was next up.  After thanking the senior Barbieri for his attendance, he said simply, “This has been the best year of my life…I got married this past year…and I think everyone was invited.”  He went on to invite everyone to a New Years party in LA.  Wardrobe then proposed that the annual meetings be moved to August so that we might enjoy the warm weather.  [Historian’s note: that didn’t happen].

The Minister of Member of the Month proposed that IFS take a group picture each year to document everyone’s progression.

Rabbi of Culinary Affairs expressed his pleasure to be back!  He then extended an open invitation to his house in San Francisco.  He really sold it, explaining that he now has a flat screen TV.

Minister of Auditory Pleasure reminded everyone that our first anthem was done without musical accompaniment.  He proceeded to set up the background music for the anthem and everyone joined in a second, glorious rendition of the IFS Anthem.

Minister of Athletics brought out his personal bowling ball to suggest to everyone the afternoon’s activity and perhaps to remind everyone of his athletic prowess.

Minister of Health proudly related his title to us, explaining “I’m health, as you can all see.” He told us about his father’s 65th birthday and explained in some detail a story involving Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao, the Minister of Wardrobe, and vomiting and lots of it.

Minister of Paralympics told everyone how proud he was to be the reigning member of the year.  He then announced his campaign for the 2016 paralympics and fittingly, it was agreed his title would be Minister of Paralympics.

Minister of Wine (and Photography) declared how happy he was to be there and shared that he had passed his certification to be a sommelier.

Minister of Art Design said he was bummed out he missed the previous night but also hoped the highlights would be posted on the hairline blog.

Minister of History  talked about his efforts to rededicate himself to his role as historian.  [Historian’s note: this didn’t happen.]

Minister of the American Dream shared “I have been in America for 8 years and IFS has been 8 years…it’s like a rebirth. Its been a strong year…i opened up AT so that we could do the late night after party…are you in IFS? Get the fuck out?”

After many more rounds of beer and many heartfelt comments to the excellent staff of house pancake, it was time for awards.  After a thoughtful deliberation, the monks awarded the Member of the Month, Member of the Year, and Continental Breakfast award.  Unfortunately, the historian got caught up in the festivities and relinquished his quill for an adolphus.  The exact details of who won are blurry, but photographic evidence and excerpts from speeches that survived suggest the Minister of the American Dream won both Member of the Month and Member of the Year.  Notably, the Minister of Competition was awarded the Continental Breakfast.

diego trophy 2

Said Minister of the American Dream: By winning this award, I’ve accomplished what I wanted to accomplish: I beat Bunch and got Time Magazine Man of the Year!  We’ll have another late-night speakeasy tonight, just don’t tell the Rabbi.

diego speech

Said Minister of Competition:  It’s great to be back!


One final round and a final smoke break and the meeting was adjourned.

Later, we went bowling, went back to the AT for dinner, and even made it to a bar on state street.  Well, most of us made it.


 also, there’s this…

diego trophy

glory hole!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. M+T
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 16:04:26

    You can never beat me! NEVER!

    MOVE! NEWB! Let me fix these jpg embedding issues. Oh looks like WordPress needs the latest security patch. I’ll just update the drivers, a quick reboot, click, clack, click, clack. Just invested in some more bitcoins…and DONE!

  2. Rousing
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 12:49:47

    You really upped the ante.