Bernception: (Berncep +Graduation)
Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of Rousing, Minister of Photography/Wine, Minister of Biceps Letters, Minister of International Affairs, Minister of Business Management (late but got der), Minister of History, and Minister of Auditory Pleasure.
Prior to the meeting, Minister of Interior Design noticed the IFS plaque was missing from the front of the IHOP. More on this after the (smoke) break.
The meeting began with Minister of Interior Design making an unofficial pitch to change his title to the minister of bowling. The duties would include planning official flapjack bowling events, or maybe just being the best bowler at flapjack bowling events, or at least going to bowling events with other flappies.
Minister of International Affairs told an epic, true story about the dinner the night before at the Tavern. Minister of IA instructed some of the hostesses to escort a man with hüuuuge biceps (Letters) to the back party table when he arrived. After his arrival, the hostesses privately commented to Minister of IA that the man’s biceps were big but not that big, and that it seemed like he might have just had a shirt tailored so its tight around the arms. But the Minister of International Affairs explained that in fact Letters wears XXL shirts that only look small because of his hüuuuge biceps.
Minister of Lexicon – Ham and Egg Melt, no Swiss Cheese, add Cheddar. Side of Short Stack.
Minister of Letters – Breakfast Sampler with Scrambled Eggs.
Minister of Rousing – Country Fried Steak and Eggs
Minister of Business Management – Rooty Tooty Fresh n’ Fruity (remotely ordered due to a late-arrival)
Minister of Auditory Pleasure – Sirloin Tips and Eggs + Cheddar and 2 (two) Appetizer Samples
Minister of Photography / Wine – Pancake Platter w/side of German Pancakes
Minister of History – Post Roast Melt – w/Side of Blueberry Pancakes
Minister of Interior Design – Bacon Temptation Omelette
Minister of International Affairs– Eggs Benedict with a side of Eggs, no Hash Browns, Short Stack of Pancakes, plus a side of T-Bone Steak
Minister of Interior Design looked into the plaque situation and found it was stowed away safely. The plaque had been removed during a redecoration/remodeling of the pancake establishment.
It was decided that the Minister of International Affairs would host the plaque at the Tavern. After an acoustic rendition of the anthem, and light slingshot practice, Minister of International Affairs, in light of the restaurant opening and his general attitude toward life, moved to change his name to Minister of the American Dream.
Special hand-crafted ballots were handed out thanks to the hard work of Auditory Pleasure’s lady. Minister of Letters’ ballot was adorned with calligraphy and glitter.
Minister of History had the honor of reading the ballots in Minister of Member of the Months’ stead. The votes were cast and Minister of Letters won Member of the Month for being an inspiration, a pillar of the society, for his reverse biceps Samson jam strength jam, for having an entire weekend named after his biceps, and for graduating wearing a silver chord on his way to joining the ranks of thousands of other Sociology Major millionaires. Minister of Wardrobe took home the Continental Breakfast Award for losing in the face of adversity.
A final anthem, a final bow from Minister of International Affairs, and the meeting was adjourned, but the fun wasn’t over.