6 Years Strong: The Ann Jam



IHOP off Turnpike in Goleta, CA

November 6th, 2010


Minister of Media and Technology, Minister of Letters, Minister of Business Management, Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Member of the Month, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Philanthropy, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of Auditory Pleasures, Minister of Athletics, Minister of Art and Design, Minister of Health, Minister of History, Minister of International Affairs, and newly appointed Minister Edward (hereafter called Minister of Ed, short for Education or Edward, your pick).

[Heroic Anthem Singing]

[1ST Round]


Ministers went around the room touching on their roles and offering initial updates while saving business matters for later.  Minister of Interior Design pointed out the International Flags that accompanied the cups that he and MBM put together.  He was also sure to point out the party favors each member received in the cup, and pointing to one ‘safety measure’ in particular, said, ‘this one is for up in the ribs.’  MOM mentioned new ballots.  Lexicon promised quotes that would be presented later.  Minister of Athletics recalled his marathon from that morning.  Minister of International Affairs shared with everyone two things he liked that smell good, one of which was pancakes.  Minister of Ed. informed the group he likes spending his time doing Asian things like making SAT tests for mainly Asian kids.

[2nd Round]


Minister of Wardrobe –  Rooty Tooty Fresh n’ Fruity

Minister of Philanthropy – “Although not ordering the chorizo goes against my heritage, I think I’m going to order the steak and eggs”

To which Minister of Interior Design replied,  “Ay Dios Mio”

Minister of Art and Design – Avocado, bacon, and cheese omelet with a short stack of pancakes with strawberries and whip cream and a side appetizer sample.

Minister of Ed. – Sirloin Tip and Eggs with a side of pancakes

Minister of Health – Chicken Fried Steak (the dinner portion)

Minister of International Affairs – Eggs Benedict with an extra egg, short stack of pancakes, side T-bone steak , side of red skinned potatoes

[Smoke Break]

[Technical Difficulties trying to connect with Minister of Rousing]

[Food Brought Out]

Minister of Auditory’s European crepes were slow to come out and Minister of Athletics was quick to suggest, ‘they had to find a Frenchman to make it.’

Shortly after, Minister of Athletics recounted some of the finer moments of his tremendous athletic performance earlier that morning.  He recalled that he started the marathon listening to the Arnold Mega Mix and was laughing hysterically to himself, prompting the ‘serious’ marathon runners around him to wonder “who is this drunk idiot laughing to himself?”

[Third Round]


M+T talked about how great the tradition is, asking himself, “how long have we been doing this? Six years.”  He mentioned the need to establish one byline that is both fitting and appropriate, and suggested voting that ‘we do it every month’ be officially replaced with ‘by the cake of pan.’

Minister of Letters showed off the IHOP gift certificates.  He then suggested, perhaps seriously,  “we should get IFS credit cards.”  About his recent efforts, Letters offered, “sorry if I haven’t contributed, but it’s my life, so fuck you.”

Minister of Business Management showed off the new mugs that he made happen.  He credited Minister of Interior Design for the idea.  MBM also brought up the idea of drawing names out of a hat to select people to plan the big meeting of the year, which would allow a diverse group to get involved in the planning process that might not regularly be part of it.  The vote on this official proposition was held until the close of BUSINESS.  [Historian’s note: he also ran a half-marathon that morning.]

Minister of Member of the Month discussed the MOY award, talked about how he consulted with last year’s winner, MBM, and at first questioned whether anyone had made a substantial effort to warrant receiving the award.  Then,  upon review of the events that had transpired over the weekend, MOM announced Minister of Athletics as the Member of the Year.  Much applause and congratulations followed.  Then Minister of Athletics stood up on tired legs and said, “I’m kind of a shell of a human being right.  But I did my business this morning.  Thank you very much.”  More well deserved applause.

Minister of Wardrobe followed saying it was, “good to see everyone for the Ann. Jam.”   He talked about shirts that he had sized people for and promised they would be delivered at the end of the month.  Minister of M+T interjected, “That sounds awesome!”

Minister of Philanthropy started by simply saying, “6 years…pretty badass.” He then touched on saving X-Mas many, many years ago.  There were shouts to the effect of, “still bringing that up?” to which Minister of Philanthropy responded that he wanted to get bracelets for everyone saying “never forget.”  He went on to update everyone on the state of microloans explaining Oscar Mayara Garcia finally paid IFS back.  And that a new mico-loan was under way for Felix in Peru.  Everyone was very pleased though suspect of the possible business ventures associated with Peru.

[Beers grabbed at an as needed basis from the beer cooler throughout this part of the meeting]

Minister of Lexicon said how great it was to be here.  He went on to give a hilarious account of everyone’s finest quotes.  This was met with much laughter and applause and proved to be a very tough act to follow.  He also mentioned he did not bring the Continental Breakfast award; it made it as far as the Motel 6 but no further.

Minister of Athletics touched on his marathon and quickly sat down having already recalled the morning marathon earlier in the meeting.

Minister of Auditory Pleasures talked about how he may lack in objective contributions, but that he recently relocated to the origin of IFS, Santa Barbara.  Everyone applauded greatly.

[Historian’s note: also recently bought a Benz…absolute playa]

Minister of MOM commented that Minister of Art and Design’s first job was at Chucky Cheeses and everyone laughed.  Then Minister of Art and Design…

[Historian’s Note: Budweiser seems to have stained both the Historian’s record and memory of Minister of Art and Design and Minister of Health’s comments which are  missing here.]

Minister of History acknowledged he totally spaced on the Member of the Month award and was disappointed he missed out on the wedding and on the marathon.  He talked about his recent trips, one to Montecito, another to  China, and passed around some authentic artifacts that double as cozies.

Minister of International Affairs talked about his long awaited Social Security to the delight and congratulations of everyone.  “For a long time I’ve waited for this…”

Minister of Ed was welcomed into the group with a hearty applause.  “It’s an honor to join this esteemed brotherhood.  This type of brotherhood and camaraderie is in large part dying elsewhere, so I’m glad to be part of this.”  More applause and appropriate ethnic comments.

Then a vote was held on Minister of Business Management’s ‘hat drawing’ motion.  The  motion passed unanimously.

Following this, the ballots were collected for the Member of the Month.  Minister of Member hilariously read out each ballots as if he had written them himself.  Member of the Month was awarded to Minister of Lexicon in large part because of his great presentation.  He narrowly beat out Minister of Athletics who ran a marathon and then drank a forty of bud ice.

The Continental Breakfast award voting came down to a tie between Minister of Lexicon for forgetting the MOM trophy at the motel 6 and Minister of History for spacing on the CB trophy, amongst other things.  It was decided the two would make arguments to defend why they shouldn’t be given the CB award.  After two sloppy speeches, the tie breaking vote cast by Minister of Letters went to the Minister of Lexicon to ensure both trophies would make it to the next meeting.


Following the rules of the new motion, three names were drawn out of the hat to help plan the next big meeting.  Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Athletics, and Minister of Lexicon were all selected and expectations couldn’t be higher.

[Meeting Adjourned]

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Minister of EDucation
    Dec 06, 2010 @ 08:10:11

    It was an unforgettable, blackout good time. I do indeed concur with our Rabbi of Leisure – “We need more meet.”

  2. MoAP
    Dec 01, 2010 @ 16:34:38

    agree with bunch: the thoroughness here is frightening… and awesome. glad to see a long night of big game hunting didn’t dull your senses. well done.

  3. Rousing
    Dec 01, 2010 @ 06:20:13

    Wow Jam, I don’t know where to begin. Moritz, my housemate, must think I’m crazy because I’ve been laughing out loud for the past 15 minutes. So nice to come home to this after a two-mile (don’t know the kilometer conversion because I don’t give a shit) walk home in the snow. I will re-read this multiple times over the next few days and will feel very happy/sad each time. Miss you all very much. Good Flapjack.

  4. frickerigno
    Nov 30, 2010 @ 15:30:48

    Think Lex… how could you get both the over and underachiever award at the same time?

  5. Minister of History
    Nov 30, 2010 @ 11:58:18

    Good call M+T. The history is now revised to meet your needs.

  6. M+T
    Nov 30, 2010 @ 11:34:08

    Great recap. It’s scary how good you are at taking notes law-dog-in-training. It truly was a great weekend and I’m already looking forward to the next meeting.

    Was the vote to have the party planning committee plan next meeting, or just a meeting this year? I trust your notes History, but my bwain heard it different.

    You left the Media out of my position title though. Don’t do that ever again…