Bring me to…the 5th Anniversary

5 Comments

Saturday, November 21st, 2009
IHOP
Goleta, CA
Author: Minister of History
Attending Ministers/Rabbi (17):
Minister of Media and Technology, Minister of Letters, Minister of Interior Design, Minister of Rousing, Minister of Member of the Month, Minister of Wardrobe, Minister of Revelry and Spirits, Minister of Philanthropy/Parliamentary Procedures, Minister of Auditory Pleasures, Minister of Athletics, Minister of Photography, Minister of Maritime Affairs, Minister of Competition, Minister of History, Minister of Lexicon, Minister of International Affairs
Absent Ministers/Rabbi (3):
Minister of Finance
Rabbi of Leisure
Minister of Health
Attending Guest Members (3):
Ben
Kevin
Sean
[First Round of Beers]
Ministers introduced themselves to guest members explaining their title and the duties that go along with their position.
Minister of Parliamentary Procedures touched on his ‘recession proof’ micro loans and alluded to saving Christmas some years back.
Minister of Auditory Pleasures was cheered for passing the bar and becoming IFS’s first lawyer.
Minister of International Affairs began his explanation of international duties in his usual high spirits with, “a lot of people have been trying to bring to me down…”
Newest Member, Minister of Lexicon (Chuck) thanked everyone for accepting him into IFS. He explained his position of Minister of Lexicon as the guy who remembers the funny phrases and sayings that are repeated over and over at one meeting but sometimes lost over time. The Minister of Lexicon asserted that he will remember and have a command of ‘the shtick, ya know the shit chicks hate,” and received a round of applause and many welcomes.
[Anthem – Minister of Letters (wearing athletic shorts) jumped ahead in the song, but everybody kept it together until Diego brought it home with another strong finish]
[Second Round of Beers]
Food Ordering:
Notable Orders –
Minister of Art and Design: Chicken Florentine Crepes, Appetizer Sampler, Short stack, and Mac’n Cheese
Guest Member Sean: 2 Breakfast Samplers, 5 sides of bacon
[Smoke Break]
Fantasy Football talk from the smoke break led into discussion of the afternoon football match. Team Captains and Brothers in Design (art and interior) squared off in a short stack eating competition. Minister of A/D’s bare hand approach dismantled Minister of Interior’s more methodical fork/knife method. For his Joey Chestnut-esque efforts, Minister of A/D got first pick for the Flapjack Bowl and would later pick Minister of Parliamentary Procedures.
[Beers brought in continually]
Minister of Wardrobe’s girlfriend fund for transporting the trophy to the Goleta IHOP was passed around. Full off of his victory, Minister of A/D generously contributed one dollar.
Meeting Called to Order
Minister of Parliamentary Procedures called the meeting to order. He introduced the first discussion item, the IFS Fund. Many Ministers contributed points for and against including Minister of Revelry and Spirits and Minister of Competition.
After much deliberation, Minister of Revelry and Spirits moved to set up an IFS FUND for future events and societal expenses using a group PayPal account with an optional $10 contribution a month. Minister of Rousing seconded the motion. The motion was brought to a vote and was passed unanimously with Minister of R&S electing to head up this project.
Minister of Revelry and Spirits moved to change his title to Minister of Business Management. The motion was seconded by Minister of Competition who also jokingly suggested an alternative title, the Real Minister of Finance. The motion was passed unanimously without an individual yes/no vote.
Minister of Philanthropy moved to change quorum from 2/3’s to 50% plus one. With full attendance, this would mean 11 of 20 votes would be necessary to pass a motion. Motion was seconded by Minister of M+T and passed unanimously without an individual yes/no vote.
Minister of Rousing introduced a discussion item: for future meetings, to have Ministers add their discussion items to the official agenda a couple days prior to the meeting. This would still allow for topics to be brought up at the table as well. Ministers nodded in agreement but no vote was taken.
New Business:
Minister of Rousing passed around an handout for a meeting idea for early 2010: the Phoenix Open. Minister of Rousing described the golf tournament as a three day party that would be all encompassing: food, entertainment, beer (Coors light unfortunately), and women all at one location. Minister of Business Management confirmed the potential for all Ministers to make party at the Phoenix Open as the indecipherable pictures on the hand out could not do it justice. Other ministers, including Minister of Interior Design, reminisced about the Phoenix Ramada Inn conveniently located in the same parking lot as a waffle house and a gentleman’s club – “bring me to the…best western.” The item was well received and tabled for further discussion.
Minister of Wardrobe introduced new 5th anniversary apparel – white T-shirts with gold, italicized lettering on the front and back – absolute playah design. He also mentioned his upcoming Christmas Party at his apartment in Hollywood featuring Huckleberry.
Minister of Photography suggested he change his name to something more wine related now that Minister of Business Management had changed his name from Revelry and Spirits. Despite his celebrated career in the field of photography, the former Minister of Photography is now the Minister of Wine.
Awards:
Monthly Awards:
Minister of MOM introduced the ballots explaining you can vote for “who’s super cool and who’s not” for Member of the Month and for the Continental Breakfast award. Or, as Auditory Pleasures suggested, “you can just check C.B. for C.B.”
Author’s Note: Many rounds of Budweisers made the tallying of votes a nearly insurmountable task. Many thanks to Minister of Maritime Affairs for his contributions in record keeping (and v-necks).
After many heartfelt laughs from reading aloud each ballot, the Minister of Wardrobe took home the Member of the Month award and Minister of Letters was deemed Continental Breakfast winner with 6 votes, narrowly edging out Minister of Art and Design.
In celebration, Minister of Wardrobe held the trophy proudly above his head, and pointing to the sky, he exclaimed many “Thank Yous!” and “Yes’s!” He would later claim, for the second year in a row, that “this year, I’m going to make a serious run at Member of the Year.”
Minister of Letters shook his head as he received the CB award, and explained how he had woken up with such high hopes for the day. He would later redeem himself as the MVP of the flapjack bowl.
Member of the Year Award:
Newly renamed Minister of Business Management won the Member of the Year award for his strength and organizational efforts since returning from Germany. After a mighty cheer that undoubtedly echoed through the main dining area and many, enthusiastic fist pumps, Minister of Business Management composed himself. With great humility, he simply stated, “I’m just proud to be part of this organization.” Acknowledging the group’s past and present strength, he continued, “We’re just going to get stronger and stronger.”
Minister of Member of the Month delicately added: “his strength is great, not so much in angularity, but in volume displacement.”
Lifetime Achinment Award:
Former Members of the Year – Minister of Letters and Minister of Rousing surprised the group with a special treat – a Lifetime Achinment award for the one member ineligible for the Member of the Year award because of his unique role in deciding the M.O.Y. award. Upon accepting the medal, Minister of Member of the Month explained the chinscription written on the back of medal, “you don’t see it, but there’s a lot of adversity I overcome behind the scenes.”
[2nd anthem heartily sang without incident]
[96 beers totaled]
Annivesary Surprise:
As the bill was being totalled, Minister of Art and Design stunned the group with a surprise phone call from the inspiration behind IFS – David “Champ” Koechner. As everyone huddled around and listened on speaker phone, Champ threw out a couple of “Whammy’s” and a “We Do It Every Month” much to the delight of everybody.
It was a fitting end to a strong 5th annivesary meeting.
Addendum
Notable Quotes:
“do I get a discount because you have a chest tattoo”
“that bitch was fat, thanks for the lap dances”
“you know that show on abc, Flash Forward…in my version of the show, I flash forward to myself being acquitted of statutory rape charges thanks to Minister of A.P.”

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Phil
    Dec 06, 2009 @ 13:58:58

    Nice work History! Hilarious and I’m glad someone remembers what went on during the meeting. Especially since I need to make some changes to the constitution. Thanks and good work as always!

  2. frickersahn
    Dec 02, 2009 @ 17:17:54

    Nice work History, I laughed aloud on a few occasions while recoutning the meeting’s events. It was a good one, and I’m glad it was recorded.

  3. schroediki
    Dec 01, 2009 @ 17:10:53

    I’m glad to see “Take me to theeeee, ah, Best Western” making it in the minutes. Speaking of that, Interior could we get that photo of the group posted on the site…I bet it’s beautiful.

  4. M+T
    Dec 01, 2009 @ 16:25:08

    Nice work as usual History. You really are a steel trap and great note taker. I feel like I just relived the entire meeting and all the good times. Back to work…

  5. Rousing
    Dec 01, 2009 @ 09:36:21

    Wow. You’ve outdone yourself with this report History (“Full off of his victory, Minister of A/D generously contributed one dollar” – among many strong quotes). To read this first thing in the morning…the wave of emotions…I’m so…happy.
    I love you IFS.