I am greatly saddened to have to miss both the Halloween Rumble and the upcoming 5 year reunion. My distance has proven to be a formidable obstacle to my active participation in IFS activities since school has begun. But I would like to take this seemingly lamentable situation and use it to the benefit of our entire organization. What I am suggesting will be demanding of you all, but the rewards will far out way the costs… I, the Rabbi of leisure, would like to invite you all to Durham, North Carolina, for the greatest New-Year’s celebration of the decade!!! IFS New-Year’s 2010 has the potential to blow your flap-staken’ minds and stir your syrup-pumpin hearts.
For those bold enough to make the journey, I guarantee:
• Life altering Barbecue (and many other varieties of food to clog the arteries but quicken the spirit)
➢ Diego- This means all you can eat, so get your shwammy-as-she-goes ass down here
• Beer that flows like wine (and for that matter, wine that flows like wine as well)
➢ If anyone can convince Jordan to come, the Mike’s Hards are on me all trip
•Scantily clad, sex-starved women, eager to experience the joy of uninhibited flap-jackery
➢ For Jimmy – Fish to have sex with
• Music so riveting as to inspire Bunch to dance, and make Nova want to sodomize Esteban
• A whirlwind tour of one of the south’s most vibrant cities (led by your own Rabbi of leisure)
• And most importantly a chance for our brotherhood to strengthen bonds friendship in yet another far-flung destination
Let me know how this sounds to all of you. If there is a will there is a pancake, so let’s do it!
Light and fluffily yours,
The Rabbi of Leisure