The Survivors


The original Arizona flapjack crew began as a decimated bunch.  Outside engagements, real life commitments and the thought of driving through the desert for hours to Phoenix whittled the original crew down to only the heartiest flappies.  The remaining Ministers and Rabbi were willing to sacrifice brain cells and self respect for a cool drink at the brotherhood oasis deep in the hot desert of Arizona.

I’m no Historian and am in no way qualified to report it, but I’ll give my best rendition of the weekends events from those who could not attend or can’t remember. 

Friday Night, the LA contingent arrived late after a long haul through the desert which the Minister of Art and Design kindly took on himself.  We arrived to two strange mustachioed men in the motel parking lot, one tall the other very cute.  All were excited in the usual jubilation of the Friday night arrival, and while some went to bed early (3:30am), others decided they needed to see the Arizona Sun peeking over the desert cactus.

Saturday, The Rabbi took arousal duties and managed to get everyone up for our breakfast at ‘The Original Pancake House’ which was fantastic.  Ministers sampled the menu, numerous Dutch Babies were orders as well as the standard omelet, biscuits and gravy fare.  ID unveiled the newest piece of IFS apparel, a beautiful white T-shirt with the ‘OLD’ seal.  The Breakfast was not considered a full meeting due to the extra guests and inability to order Budweiser.  We got a great group picture in front of the restaurant, complete with Route 66 trucker hat and cactus xeroscaping.   Art wastes no time in cutting the sleeves off his new shirt to adapt to the heat.  On the way to the stadium M&T’s car started making some funny noises.

After breakfast we continued on to the Dodger’s White Sox game where the boys in blue decided the hot desert sun made them a little sleepy and managed to get spanked 6-1.  The Camelback Ranch was a nice venue, where we were allowed to take off our shirts and drink 6 dollar beers in the sun, a refreshing price change from Chavez Ravine.  I accidentally drank some radioactive ooze and briefly turned into a Ninja Turtle.   On the way to our meeting M&T’s car decided it was time to take a break less than a mile from the stadium.  Unfortunately this put a ‘wrench’ in our meeting plans as Revelry and M&T had to take the Acura to the shop, all the while listening to ‘second-hand’ Meth stories from the Tow truck driver.  “You can go all night.” Good to mingle with the locals.

Some ministers made a bee-line for Margaritaville while others decided to check into the Motel and relax.  The group was reunited in an Arizona strip mall hell complete with a Yard House, Shout House, Margaritaville, Fox Sports Zone, and the Saddle Ranch which is where the monkeys found the ripest bananas of the evening.  The Saddle Ranch was a nice mix of the bleach blonde ASU types as well as their male frosted tipped tatooed counterparts, Spring Training enthusiasts, not to mention the odd bachlorette and misguided hick.  A true representative demographic slice of everything I expected Arizona to be.  Art and Design somehow managed to find himself atop a mechanical bull.  After a long 8 seconds and a sprained finger Art bit the dust, BOO!

After an early morning airport run to return Competition to the law dog pound I came back to the Alamo.  After a long tired morning only 7 Indians remained. (technically 6 Indians and a jew) We were demoralized and far short of corum, but we decided short-sided or not, Rousing would not be satisfied with tales of the desert with no meeting, so we overcame.  Ballots were cast and the vote from across the pond pushed Revelry over the top to take home the MOM award.  Plans for Tahoe were discussed at greater length, but a subcommittee decision is still necessary to determine whether we can get a good cabin.  Also it was decided females would be invited to Tahoe.

The winning vote read, “The Minister of Revelry and Spirits because he has breathed fresh life
into our beloved Society.  His enthusiasm for the betterment of our
glorious Society is strong, and it can be seen in his various, recent
accomplishments – the IFS calendar, the IFS email updates, and the
Beisbol desert meeting.  Of course, I’m sure there will be more to
come.  Great work Revelry and Spirits…or, as he is known to some,
that guy who used to live in Holland.”

The Continental Breakfast award went to Auditory Pleasures for maybe coming, but then not, also something about a penis mold. 

Although the final meeting was a slim reminder of our original mass, it was also a triumphant event in many ways.  Through all the hardship and difficulties endured to get dere, a few strong ministers still managed to have a Spring meeting in an Econo Lodge outside of Phoenix, because we said we would.  We do it every (few) month(s).

Talk of a Water Park expedition to cap off the trip eventually faded into the realization a new week loomed heavy on the horizon and the desert stretched out for many miles in front of our respective beds.  We returned the SD and OC Ministers to their repaired automobile and hugged our brothers goodbye.  Until we meet again on our nation’s birthday we look to the future, a future unlikely to include Arizona.  Although I’m glad we came.  Another destination conquered another set of stories to be remebered.  Gooood Flapjack.

Philantropy deserves an honorable mention for documenting the weekend in vivid detail.  Hopefully a good photo essay will follow soon, possibly including Art’s mechanical Bull ride?  Also Philanthropy was the only one to submit a Taco post and apparently he set the bar too high because no one else posted.  So he took home the T-shirt for Lucha Libra Taco Shop.

However since numerous ministers have made an effort to participate, and I still have one T-Shirt left I have extended the competition until our summer meeting.  So all is not lost, post your taqueria explorations on the site and you too can match cutie-pie in July.


He bears a striking resemblance to Cutie-Pie with the mustache.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. letters
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 21:38:09

    did anyone find an extra ifs shirt in their hotel (econo) when they were packing up… size large? please for the love of god??

  2. Health
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 18:07:12

    What a great read MOM. I’m so bummed I couldn’t be a part of this. Just the thought of IFS and spring training baseball made me jizz in my pants, but there was just no way I could pull it off this year. The quicker we can set dates for the summer meeting the better for me because I have to schedule work off about a month in advance so as soon as we have any tentative dates let me know so I can start marking them off. You guys all make me so happy.. Good flapjack

  3. Philanthropy
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 08:26:23

    Nice MOM, it’s everything I remember and a whole lot more. I’m making a post with the great pics…even the ones Mike ruined. Look for it soon!
    Oh yeah and that was definitely not me in a mustache… They were good guys though seemed really cool and handy we should have invited to hang out over the weekend.

  4. Rousing
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 03:59:17

    I’m giddy…6 Indians and a Jew, thank you for that. I know we have Parliamentry Procedures now, but I think this post solidifies MOM’s postition as Historian in reserve. What a great read.
    Congrats to R and S, well deserved. Congrats to Auditory Pleasures, also well deserved. And congrats to all involved for perservering…for overcoming hardship for the greater good. You make me proud to be a Minister. Good Flapjack.

  5. Minister of R&S
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 19:53:39

    MOM thanks for the playahrboy post. What a great group of friends to return to. The whole weekend felt like an old drunk shoe. Any idea where the local Wendy’s is?

  6. letters
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 19:22:39

    wow! great summary MOM! WOW! WOW is MOM upside down! cool.
    “…as well as their male frosted tipped tattooed counterparts, not to mention the odd bachlorette and misguided hick.”
    I’ve never seen so many tees with “hilarious” phrases and Ed Hardy shirts in one place (look at that guy’s shirt. it seems he “hearts” hot moms… nice one, guy). Thank God for you guys. Otherwise, i would have felt lost and on the verge of drowning in the douchy waters of glendale.

  7. M+T
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 17:23:05

    Well summarized MOM. As defeated as I’ve felt the last 24 hours, I still can’t wait for the next meeting and a chance to do it all again.