Time to Hit the Old Dusty Trail

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My career as a student/adventurer in Santa Barbara is about to come to an end.  I will soon leave this place that has given me so much.  The good times, the women… oohhh the women…  The women that have been so lucky (or unlucky) to cross my path.  And there have been so many.   So… many… women… And the acronyms.  UCSB, SBCC, I.V., all the acronyms in my life will now only exist in memory.  All but one.  There is one that will live forever, one that will remain bright and shining while the others become nothing more than a distant and fading reminiscence, thought of on a warm Sunday afternoon while laying in the hammock in my backyard watching my kids chase the dog around the manicured lawn.  It is a beacon of hope, a bright  light of glory that will never cease to illuminate the great lives of great men, men together, with each other.  This acronym will be my legacy, and it is my duty to defend this acronym not only with my life, but with my soul.  I will go to hell for this acronym.  Three letters.  With periods in between them.  I hold these letters closer to my heart than I will hold any woman.  None of the many, many women I have had relations with will ever come close to this.  Because we are men, men together and with each other.  These three letters, these letters that bring men closer to each other than any woman could ever be, emotionally, spiritually, physically, these letters are:  I.F.S.

And as I leave this town, that is all I will take with me.  As I drive my 1995 Ford Explorer off into the sunset, first on a ’round the world surf trip of a lifetime that Finance isn’t coming on because he has to take math classes, then to a life of fame and fortune in Hollywood, I will only be thinking of my return, next month.  My return to glory.

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  1. Minister of Media and Technology
    Sep 07, 2005 @ 12:26:22

    You will be missed by all at next meeting. We may need to hire a few bodygaurds to replace your vice like grip on the constitution and all I.F.S. related materials.